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trash distorted mind - gorn lyrics

f*ck
oh god just protect me from f*cking silence
i f*cking hate it here
i f*cking hate it here
silence
who said that i’m screaming?
i’m just thinking very loud
f*ck

i am too afraid to say
anything
i’ve ruined everything behind
it takes too long
i need to think faster
let me think
let me think what you think
it’s too much pressure
gotta hurry, gotta hurry
gotta hurry, gotta hurry
i’m out of time

can’t hear my thoughts
can’t hear my voice
why i always have to be different than others?
argh!
why must i be so f*cking individual?
it hurts
it hurts
it hurts
everywhere i go
i don’t fit
i quit
nowhere to go i belong to no one
can’t have a sit for a sec
silence begets violence
can’t stand still for a sec
silence begets violence
can’t ever find my f*cking place
silence begets violence
i feel deaf it might be f*cking death
silence begets violence
violence
f*ck
every year i thought it would be different this time
every time i fail my suicide is the biggest regret
i nearly got it and i f*cked up i’m still here
years passed by nothing f*cking changed
i’m not stronger, i’m in deeper sh*t
it’s like my full bucket is already spilling
hoping that i’m alive or hoping that i’m dead
can’t decide what is more destructive
searching for myself it’s been really hard to find my identity
what am i
who am i
maybe you know better
or its just a mask that i cover my thoughts
every night i come here
leaving my dungeon safe
am i playing a role
or is that really who i am
sober since the pandemic
still digging for myself
i might be real but i don’t know which side am i
put these foolish ambitions to rest
it won’t make you happy
don’t go that way
it’s like being sisyphus
argh! can’t ever get enough
raise him to be an ordinary man
with an ordinary work
just live your simple life
why are you hating people that live for nothing?
at least they are happy
are you f*cking happy?
no?
i don’t even know if i love myself
i don’t even know if i accept myself
god i’m so f*cking lost
help me
i lost my identity
it says that i’m fifty fifty
i am myself but the f*ck am i?

violence
ok, silence
violence
shhh, silence
violence
ok, quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet
violence
god
i don’t know what i’m screaming about anymore
i lost my identity
i lost my identity
it’s fine, i’m fine, everything is f*cking fine
the f*ck i just wrote i can’t understand it
man, f*ck these lyrics
i’m f*cking broke and lost
f*ck

- gorn lyrics

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