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when i went to the bar as a very young man - gilbert and sullivan lyrics

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when i went to the bar as a very young man
(said i to myself — said i)
i’ll work on a new and original plan
(said i to myself — said i)
i’ll never -ssume that a rogue or a thief
is a gentleman worthy implicity belief
because his attorney has sent me a brief
(said i to myself — said i)

ere i go into court i will read my brief through
(said i to myself — said i)
and i’ll never take work i’m unable to do
(said i to myself — said i)
my learned profession i’ll never disgrace
by taking a fee with a grin on my face
when i haven’t been there to attend to the case
(said i to myself — said i)

i’ll never throw dust in a juryman’s eyes
(said i to myself — said i)
or hoodwink a judge who is not over-wise
(said i to myself — said i)
or -ssume that the witnesses summoned in force
in exchequer, queen’s bench, common pleas, or divorce
have perjured themselves as a matter of course
(said i to myself — said i)

in other professions in which men engage
(said i to myself — said i)
the army, the navy, the church, and the stage
(said i to myself — said i)
professional license, if carried too far
your chance of promotion will certainly mar
and i fancy the rule might apply to the bar
(said i to myself — said i)

- gilbert and sullivan lyrics

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