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the criminal cried as he dropped him down - gilbert and sullivan lyrics

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[ko-ko]
the criminal cried, as he dropped him down
in a state of wild alarm –
with a frightful, frantic, fearful frown
i bared my big right arm
i seized him by his little pig-tail
and on his knees fell he
as he squirmed and struggled
and gurgled and guggled
i drew my snickersnee
my snickersnee!

oh, never shall i
forget the cry
or the shriek that shrieked he
as i gnashed my teeth
when from its sheath
i drew my snickersnee!

[chorus]
we know him well
he cannot tell
untrue or groundless tales —
he always tries
to utter lies
and every time he fails

[pitti-sing]
he shivered and shook as he gave the sign
for the stroke he didn’t deserve;
when all of a sudden his eye met mine
and it seemed to brace his nerve;
for he nodded his head and kissed his hand
and he whistled an air, did he
as the sabre true
cut cleanly through
his cervical vertebrae
his vertebrae!

when a man’s afraid
a beautiful maid
is a cheering sight to see;
and it’s oh, i’m glad
that moment sad
was soothed by sight of me!

[chorus]
her terrible tale
you can’t -ssail
with truth it quite agrees:
her taste exact
for faultless fact
amounts to a disease

[pooh-bah]
now though you’d have said that head was dead
(for its owner dead was he)
it stood on its neck, with a smile well-bred
and bowed three times to me!
it was none of your impudent off-hand nods
but as humble as could be;
for it clearly knew
the deference due
to a man of pedigree
of pedigree!

and it’s oh, i vow
this deathly bow
was a touching sight to see;
though trunkless, yet
it couldn’t forget
the deference due to me!

[chorus]
this haughty youth
he speaks the truth
whenever he finds it pays:
and in this case
it all took place
exactly as he says!
exactly, exactly, exactly
exactly as he says!

- gilbert and sullivan lyrics

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