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my grandfather's clock - george formby sr. lyrics

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my grandfather’s clock was a waterbury watch
it could live 90 days without food
with a silk ‘at on its ‘ead and my father’s macintosh
it was dressed up like a piccadilly dude

it was kept in the hall till the cupboard got too small
and we had no place the food, for to stock
so the b*tter and the eggs and the little mutton legs
we kept them in me grandfather’s clock

and the works of the clock through the b*tter meltin’ in it
sent the fingers flyin’ round at a ‘undred miles a minute
and grandad, with a sigh, said “i haven’t time to die
so i’ll put it off until the clock’s repaired”
my grandfather’s clock was me mother’s p’rambulator
’round the park in it we used to ride
there was me, and treacle tummy, liza ann, an’ justice ‘awkins
screamin’ jimmy, and the twins all stuck inside

so grandad, ‘oo was dead, changed his mind, got up instead
and the sight that he saw give ‘im a shock
for the man ‘oo brought the coal, couldn’t get it down the ‘ole
so, ‘ee slung it in me grandfather’s clock

and we didn’t need a shovel as the pendulum swung ‘igher
for ev’ry time it swung it knocked some coal into the fire!
and at nine o’clock, the crank used to chime a double blank
so grandad had to knock ‘ee wouldn’t go!

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