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the phallic menace - funkoars lyrics

[intro: trials & masta ace (sampled)]
ooh, yeah, take a look at this one
yeah, that’s mine, yeah, that’s mine, i got that one
yeah, no no! don’t be scared!
where you going? “scared of the d-ck”
hey, come back! come here! “scared of the d-ck”
f-cking always scared of the d-ck “scared of the d-ck”
“scared of the d-ck as if the sh-t’s haunted”

[verse 1: trials]
what’s up girl? i know you’re scared of the d-ck
i thank allah each day that i was paired with a d-ck
checked into the doctors like “this don’t look right”
overgrown p-b-s, my dood look like suge knight
doctor, doctor, what the f-ck’s happening?
they came back with bigger b-tts than kim kardashian
but it can’t be
so big when you p-ss you gotta shake more than ali
mirror, mirror, is there a d-ck bigger?
there was none, put a ring through it, call it pierce brosnan
p-ssed out when the blood rushed to it
skeez suck the piece like they trying to get the nuts through it
the p’s enormous, somewhat gorgeous
blacksmith d-ck, a sword if it was balless
it’s got a mind of its own
it would’ve forgot me if i wasn’t attached to it, i knew it

[hook: trials]
you’re scared of the d-ck, no sh-t, me too
it’s big (it’s big) it’s large (what you going to do?)

[verse 2: sesta]
just leave it alone
no pressure if you need it to grow
it’s the blue chip d-ck, mean it stay big
too much drink mean it awesome
bring form in, fill ’em out, fill ’em up, fill ’em in
let ’em know that they f-ing with a steven king ding-a-ling
csi get the trace
but they drop the case ’cause they scared of the d-ck
(as if the sh-t’s haunted) even the lord don’t want none
creeping in the dark, swear he playing with a shotgun
but believe nothings sawn-off
as a kid, i could’ve swing it at minister to warn him off
keep it away, keep evil at bay with it
f-cking up my feng shui to keeping off the rain with it
you ain’t gotta lie
’cause i can see it in your face, quit complaining and say it

[hook: trials]
you’re scared of the d-ck, no sh-t, me too
it’s big (it’s big) it’s large (what you going to do?)

[verse 3: hons]
ain’t no need to be scared of it
only looks that big ’cause i shaved all the hair of it
hard to pull like the sword in the stone
but god d-mn i’m proud, i can call this my own
when i posh w-nk with silk in a man-sized tissue
it get angry and erupt like an active mt vesuvius
[?] careful when you take me
the circ-mcise circ-mference like a small tin of baked beans
blast off with a red rocket
start to count down from ten when you go to bob your head on it
after ten beers, this b-st-rd gets lazy
this ain’t how i brought him up, this ain’t how i raised him
the peace leaves you a bit shook
fascinated by the hairy anomaly like bigfoot
look, relax, chill
just wait ’til i get the camera out, he gain ten pounds on film

[hook: trials]
you’re scared of the d-ck, no sh-t, me too
it’s big (it’s big) it’s large (what you going to do?)

[outro: trials]
oh, what the f-ck was that?
i don’t know man, it looked like a m-ssive d-ck
f-cking h-ll! scared the sh-t out of me!

- funkoars lyrics

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