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song for my mother - friedman dean lyrics

in the hollow of your arms
snuggled up safe and warm
you used to tell me tales of unicorns and kings
but how could i comprehend
all the things you told me then
of your maddness and your struggling
my mind would swim in fantasies
like a piece of driftwood on the sea
i had no touchstone for reality
you were my reality
like a dark and unlit room
or the far side of the moon
your insanity spoke emptiness and fear
no matter how i tried
how i questioned and i pried
i just could not penetrate that thin veneer
and i know you tried to comfort me
to soothe and re-ssure me
but then your strength would always fail
and in it’s place a silken veil
like a dried and wrinkled prune
a deflated toy balloon
i came home and found you strewn across the floor
and as they lay you on your bed
i heard you say “if i am dead,
how come it just keeps on hurtin’ more and more”
and you left me in the early spring
all they said was “mommy’s resting”
and how was i to know so young
it wasn’t something i had done
so please try and understand
i will love you as i can
i do not blame you, you’re not guilty
but still there’s no way to describe
the relief i finally found
upon learning it was you
and not me
that was crazy

- friedman dean lyrics

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