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self destruction - frantic amber lyrics

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i realize i hate myself, where did i go?
i’m not the one i want to be‚ so i have work to do
think and chew and see the truth of my reality
find a way to fix me and my self-destructive ways

how do i get from a to b‚ what do i need to do?
to get out all of my traumatizing thoughts of me and you
i thought i knew but then i don’t‚ where do i go from here?
who am i and what do i want, the questions i must answer

why do i end up in these self-destructive patterns
i hurt you but it hurts me and the fault is mine to bear
i wish i could accept the truth and get over myself
feel like i do is not a self-preserving wealth

i try to solve my problems by denying all of it
but as i sink in deeper it gets angry bit by bit
i scream and shout and blame you instead of blaming me
you try to open up my eyes but i just fail to see

i cut myself as if it would help
me accepting who i am
but that won’t make a difference
cause it’s all in my head
destroy yourself
destroying me

once again i
f-ck up, only to start over
this is k!lling me
i try to put on a happy face but fail in my attempt
pretending to be what i never was
can’t live up to my own dreams
i drown but try to hold on
not feeling like i do is nothing i can fake

why do i make myself hurt in my m-s-ch-st ways?
i wound you but it is wounds me
and there’s no one else to blame
i wish i could go back in time and fix what’s come to p-ss
but can’t undo the damage‚ mending up our broken hearts

i try to run away but i am running in a circle
getting lost as always i’m despairing tad by tad
i push and hate and doubt you instead of doubting me
you fail to talk some sense in my ’cause i refuse to hear

i cut myself as if it would help
me accepting who i am
but that won’t make a difference
cause it’s all in my head
destroy yourself
destroying me

i want to change
become the best that i can be
i’ll find my way
don’t call me a liar
where’s my second chance?

i might fall to pieces
the truth is hard to hear

why?
why do i put myself through drama time and time again?
i need to be okay with being me to the very end
find a way to love me for the person who i am
don’t look back, don’t but into the fact
that i’m destroying myself piece by piece
tearing me down where i can’t breathe
help me to my feet and stand once more

i cut myself as if it would help
me accepting who i am
but that won’t make a difference
cause it’s all in my head
destroy yourself
destroying me

i need to end this self-destruction or it’ll be the end of me

- frantic amber lyrics

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