gloria schmidt - fortune feimster, max von essen & michelle visage lyrics
[verse 1]
my name is gloria schmidt from the irs
i hope that it’s a good time, but i couldn’t care less
my name is gloria schmidt and i’m here to say
my very favorite thing is to ruin your day
like a meter maid with a fresh new ticket
or an army of ants at your stupid little picnic
like your business partner who is scr*w*ng your wife
i take no greater pleasure than in ruining your life
[interlude]
what are you, the avon lady?
the irs doesn’t make house calls
well, as your case manager, i wanted to tell you in person that we’ve miscalculated your audit deadline
wait, so does this mean we have more time to get our books straight?
ah, these are the moments that make my life worth living
maestro
[verse 2]
my name is gloria schmidt, i think it’s very sweet
that you thought we would give more time to make your ends meet
and telling you this will make my life complete
you actually have until the end of the week
the end of the week, the end of the week
you actually have until the end of the week
and in the likely event that you just cannot pay
we’ll take everything you care about and lock you away
i’m gloria schmidt, i’m gloria schmidt
i really, really hope that i make you feel like sh*t
i’m gloria schmidt, oh, ain’t life a b*tch?
did you get my name? take my card
goodbye
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