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phantom thoughts - force+motion lyrics

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[hook]
there is a lesson you must learn, play with fire, you must get burned
the going is rough, it’s gonna get rougher
the going is tough, it’s gonna get tougher

[verse 1]
i’m fed up
exhausted, tryna keep my head up
slipping away and i can’t even get a leg up
all alone because i took a chance fleeing my circumstance
a thousand miles away it wasn’t worth a d*mn
feeling all the same, pain got a dramatic range
lying to myself when i’m saying i’m glad i came
now i’m in a place where they greet you with a smile
when i’m so hostile from just adapting as a child
that i see eye contact and i get wild
constantly on defense like i’m up on trial
i can’t even sit in the v without peeping my rear view, see
these painful images closer than they appear to be
i’m paranoid about whose near to me
anxieties and mental scars are severe for me
i think…
the source of calamity lies in broken family ties
nowhere to go, stuck out of drive it’s like my battery died
missing the strategy guild
it’s tough – haven’t spoken with my mother in years
beefing with my brother and a couple of peers
never told them where i went it’s like i up and disappeared
now my ex hates my guts got her wondering where
she said your son’s asking when you’re coming home
my own seed crying out for me and i barley know him
i’m feeling guilty because i missed his birth
i wasn’t ready now i’m wishing i could hit reverse
voice shaking as i spit the verse
man i gotta kick the curse
sometimes i wonder would it be simpler if i split from earth?
[hook]
the going is rough, it’s gonna get rougher
the going is touch, it’s gonna get tougher

[verse 2]
still i wander the earth searching to find my place
without a working mind in a depersonalized state
smallest fish in this big pond feeling like live bait
reeling from my mistakes which are growing like crime rates
sobriety gone there’s empty bottles in my living room
anxiety giving me feelings of impending doom
and thoughts of doing things that i would never do
testing the limits of my every mood
i swear, my mind’s like a ghost disconnected from its host
i’m feeling detached and that’s what’s messing with me most
so i light a smoke to summon the courage and let the coward burn
it’s getting serious, about to wig out like i’m howard stern
i’m buried under a pile of dirt of stress with no hope left
i’m losing focus
where do i go next?

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