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wankclaw - footprints in the custard lyrics

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one day in my youth, i fell upon my knees
to give my jellied eel, a good and mighty squeeze
suddenly a stiffening, in my moist and hairy paw
i looked down in terror, at my newly formed w*nkclaw

erotic rigor mortis
brought me to this end
with this grotesque gauntlet
the streets i shall defend

flee from me
what is that it smells like cheddar?
flee from me
i have w*nked my d*ck to fetters
flee from me
in a pool of jizz i lay
flee from me
i am w*nkclaw, save the day!

i am
i am
w*nkclaw
i am
i am
w*nkclaw

i patrol the streets, with my love gruel coated claw
villains and rapscallions, can only scream in awe
i descend upon them, a terror in the night
and with my glove of love, i’ll set this world aright

fall before me minor lords of mischief!
i am the sausage in the clambake of law!
i shall invoke terror in your slack p*ck*rs!
i shall tear your asunder with my w*nkclaw!

the lugubrious chapter of w*nkclaw is nigh!
with my deformed hand i shall smite thee!
no hovel is safe from my thrusting creeper!
the snivelling quims shall fall before me!

this is now my fate, on this day forever more
all because i wanted, to spank my man meat raw
so i will stalk in darkness, and shun the hated light
so i may be the hero, the w*nkclaw in the night!

- footprints in the custard lyrics

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