my granny's a gusher - footprints in the custard lyrics
i walked down to grandma’s house
through bear infested wood
in my arms i held a parcel
filled with electric goods
carefree and unannounced
i opened up the door
then shat myself in terror
and i’ll tell you what i saw
my granny on her back
with her legs in the air
power*washing grandad
in his old armchair
my granny’s a gusher
an ancient squirting wench
a geriatric nympho
with a thirst you cannot quench
my granny’s a gusher
toothless and senile
but when she’s feeling feisty
she’ll flow like the river nile
i shivered and i trembled
good god how can this be
that she can squirt a fountain
at the age of 83
the parcel fell from my cold hands
vibrations filled the air
d*ld*s buzzed around my feet
but i could only stare
she’s spraying like a hose
and i’m rooted in place
when a stray spurt of juice
hits me full in the face
my granny’s a gusher
an ancient squirting wench
a geriatric nympho
with a thirst you cannot quench
my granny’s a gusher
toothless and senile
but when she’s feeling feisty
she’ll flow like the river nile
i walked back from grandma’s house
a broken weeping mess
the sight of my granny gushing
had filled me with distress
now i can’t look at grandma
i can’t look into her eyes
cause i’ve seen the squirting cannon
that lurks between her thighs
she’s dusting of the cobwebs
l!cking liver spots clean
to bring that gushing quim
to a venereal sheen
my granny’s a gusher
an ancient squirting wench
a geriatric nympho
with a thirst you cannot quench
my granny’s a gusher
toothless and senile
but when she’s feeling feisty
she’ll flow like the river nile
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