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merlin in berlin - footprints in the custard lyrics

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in the distant future of the year 1945, a portal of purple light opens in the sky
king authur has sent merlin through time to destroy a tyrant that threatens our very way of life
join us on a tale of love and vengeance, where nothing is what it seems
merlin must bring down adolf hitler’s robo*n*z* empire, close the rupture in sp*ce*time and restore freedom to the galaxy forever

landing on his feet in a stance*of*glory
facing berlin’s streets of blazing*fury
yeah, he’s f*cking cool
without hesitation the mecha*hun are on him
firing laser lugers and blitzkrieg*a*bombing
ha, so what?

merlin stuns the axis horde with a lightning flash from the skies
and uses mecahmedes, his robot owl, to take their f*cking eyes

merlin * hunting down the n*z*s * in berlin
merlin – magic in their faces * in berlin
merlin * in leather on a war bike * in berlin
merlin * f*cking up the third reich *in berlin
he’s a bad*ss wizard motherf*cker

dealing out some kick*ss n*z* karma
breaking them in half with his robot*armour
he’s a silver haired fox
sick**ss magic that’ll surely entice you
taking out schutzstaffel with fire and ice, yeah!
smooth as f*ck

wearing ss officer skin, merlin infiltrates their ranks
summoning forth truman & churchill in giant spider tanks

merlin * riding in on lightnin’ * in berlin
merlin * magic’s kinda frightnin’ * in berlin
merlin * taking down the fuhrer * in berlin
merlin * saving mankind’s future * in berlin
magic rambo, motherf*cker. yeah

do my b*lls smell like hitler
do my testes reek of fascism
does my scr*t*m whiff of the signs of mankind gone wrong
do my b*lls smell like hitler

well… no…

but if they did…

then my pants would be alive with the sounds of genocide
and my gonads would burn with a blitzkrieg from which you can’t hide
my b*lls would incite racial hatred and randomly attack poland
causing britain and france to step in and sh*t to hit the fan

wait what the f*ck am i saying
even if my b*lls did smell like a dead fascist dictator
which in itself is extremely f*cking unlikely i mean, who the f*ck would even know
and why would the smell of my b*lls make me act like such a d*ck

what did hitler even smell like?

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