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spiralling - fluro monro lyrics

aimless was a glimpse of my life
sporadic thoughts and emotions splatted and blotted on these pages
every single line had the potential to form their own song

i had so much to convey but i didn′t where to start
please don’t ask if i′m okay, i’m clearly not
i don’t open up to people that′s just not who i am
i′m a man
so most people just won’t even care
instead i keep my emotions hostage
bottle them up inside and run around like there′s nothing going wrong
i’m in my own lane where no one can see me
hidden behind the bushes sitting in my car
staring out the window while the rain trickles down
i′m really lonely, i’m wondering if i′m the only one
walking around saying the same things
wishing for change, locked in a cage
hoping that i can be happy for once
or maybe proud of myself for longer than two seconds
that’s when reality kicks in
which throws me across no man’s land
back to the depressing mind fields which i′ve spent my whole life
aimlessly trudging through the pitfalls and trenches
just to wonder if any of it is even worth it anymore
i never let people see the dark side of me
it′s when i’m alone
its super scary to see, even to me
but as soon as there′s people around
i switch it up and now your seeing the fake side of me
so i put on a façade and keep my cards close to my chest
erect a barricade to block them from entering
i need to deflect them away from my emotions
cause even i won’t let myself in to see them
they hide away from everyone they′re scared of the light
they have nowhere to run, they’ll certainly put up a fight
they′ll definitely bite, maybe only enough to stun
so they can fade from the spotlight and go back to the shadows
only sign of them now is the dust that arose
and now i’m sitting here alone, dazed and blown
the air thrown out my lungs so i get up and groan
confused at why i even came here in the first place
that’s when i start to spiral
wondering what my purpose is in life
feeling like i′m wasting every second of it
everything i do, i find a way to critique
it would be pretty comical to say my outlook is bleak
and all i know is that i need to let my emotions go
ignore them, forget them, torment them
and i′m never gonna let them gain control
cause when they do
they mount a siege on my brain
scale the walls
and add to my pain
splatter the ceiling with bloodstains
the skies raining with the bodies of the slain
slay in vain and burn everything to the ground
as they take over my body
and claim my mind, blame my mind
cause i’m the one that let them in, fed them well
and now i′m wondering why i fell
i go to h*ll
for all the feelings i have k!lled
at this point it’s basically just a form of genocide
an internal struggle erupting inside of me
and i know it′s lame
i remember when they came
i thought i was strong enough to tame them
but they all burst into flames
they all picked up a gun
and then started firing rounds
sprayed scene then decided to flee
so now there’s no emotions left inside of me
will i always sit here paralysed on the brink of lifelessness?
soullessly trudging through every day like it′s never*ending
questioning if i’m ever gonna feel something real ever again
or continue on numbing the pain
until i’m walking with a cane
spending my dying breath to worry about all i regret
you′ll probably forget all about me by then
but would anyone actually realise i′m dead
cause its all in my head
and no one really ever cared enough
to even dare try to understand everything going on up in there
now we’re at the end
′cause the pressure will build up
the fuse will light and no one’s safe
the emotions surround me
they′re overwhelming
welcome to the battlefield which i hid away from myself
and let it stay concealed until i started feeling so empty
that’s when i began wondering where they had gone
they seemed to have withdrawn
so i was very confused, refused to believe it
until i went on a journey to search for them
once again, wondering aimlessly until i stumbled across them
here i am, battered and bruised
the sight before me has scarred me for life
because what i revealed was an army of lies
stretching further than my eye could see
kinda like a lord of the rings battle scene
why am i feeling so numb?
why doesn′t anything feel real?
why am i feeling so numb?
why doesn’t anything feel real?
is this shock?
is this denial?
i need to cry
i need to release my emotions ’cause they′re trapped inside of me
i′m spiralling past the point of no return
falling, into the abyss
i’m spiralling past the point of no return
drifting, watching the world go by
drifting, watching my life go by
till i′m stuck here
watching my life run away from me
that’s why i′m always so distant
yeah i’m spiralling
(spiralling)

- fluro monro lyrics

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