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the grand story of mr. chandy - flowers to the welshman at dusk lyrics

it was in the winter of 1946 that edgar von chandeau, better known by his friends and close acquaintances as mr
chandy, finally decided to invent meat

it was during a most uneventful rugby game at the local townhouse, in which his interest for smoked pomegranate and knives was overcome by a surge of creative energy

few ever questioned mr
chandy’s penchant for design
however, meat was a most extravagant new frontier, and the prospect of actually eating it didn’t agree with the local townsfolk’s preferences
it was a ridiculous concept
it was a reddish pink, bl–dy, and very unpleasant to the nose
on the other hand, mr
chandy was sure of the success of his invention

the actual production process was a secret, but his acquaintances were certain it involved a wooden ladle and a cheese grater at some point
mr
chandy, ever the gentleman, and ever the businessman, never revealed his original method, not even to his own children

for years, meat remained only as a curiosity to be sold and seldom consumed during boxing matches
early on, mr
chandy’s quite violent synthesizing technique left his product with the sweet taste of elongated bananas, and while the slippery, wet texture of meat was complemented by the sweetness, it simply couldn’t reach the basic pillar meal status its creator had envisioned

it wasn’t until 1932 that meat actually became a respected food item
its creation, so calculated and precise, was the polar opposite to the way it eventually evolved

mr
chandy was hurrying back home from his local church, when his station-wagon malfunctioned and sent its p-ssenger, and a large cargo of meat hurling, through a school and landing into a post office
this, of course, caused the meat to catch fire

the realization hit mr
chandy like a ton of meat – that, of course being, that meat had to be set on fire in order to be consumed

nowadays, hundreds of people enjoy meat worldwide
its refining process has changed a lot since mr
chandy’s death in 1946, but the practice of setting it on fire for hours on end before eating it is still in use
praised for its delicacy, the dry, sandy texture is a favourite in small children and the elderly
however, anybody can pick a taste for some good mr
chandy meat
just don’t mix it with bananas

- flowers to the welshman at dusk lyrics

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