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all i have - feral the earthworm lyrics

[intro]
*family arguing in the background*

[verse 1]
when i was a little kid, my parents would always fight
yelling loud, smashing sh*t, well into the night
cutting up wedding pictures and pitching glass plates
in regards to how we felt they put the kids in last place
we hated it but like optimists we invented some games
sneak up on them, tryna make ’em laugh, though we could change
the way they felt and stop the fight
maybe turn the wrong to right
too much turbulence for children long i got my flight
mama might divorce dad, fume i had, said f*ck that
in middle school it sucks to be crashed where you’re stack at
to escape their fighting i’d hide and turn the lights off
’cause once i put these headphones on through my blue aqua i’m lost in bliss
all the pain would cease to exists
endorphins of peace would get release and i would drift
since i couldn’t hear them yelling i no longer felt sad
see even at the age of ten i felt music was all i had

[chorus]
bought a camper van for tours
i sleep in the back
i quit my job to rap
and when the clouds are ominous and black
i feel like i’m ’bout to crack
that’s how i keep my life intact
feel like this is all that i have
bought a camper van for tours
i sleep in the back
i quit my job to rap
and when the clouds are ominous and black
i feel like i’m ’bout to crack
that’s how i keep my life intact
feel like this is all that i have
[verse 2]
freshman year, life was wielding like an unfinished structure
week my momma took rehab, my appendix ruptured
then the girl that i was in love with hooked up with a close friend
it’s like everything i know in life came to a ghostly end
i’ll never forget it man, those were the darkest times
absolute pain was just plaguing my heart and mind
late up in the hospital like “what the f*ck is going on?”
they prescribed me all these pills
i had no one, my hope was gone (d*mn)
and so to cope i load the bomb
skipping school i played oblivion the whole month long
i felt stuck, it’s like my life was brown grass
one day instead of make up work i chose the sounds of outkast
in this particular occasion i was incredibly high
when they said “git up, git out and git something” i straight up cried
then and there i made the decision to move to dad’s
this music truly guides me, i’m glad it’s influence me like it has

[chorus]
bought a camper van for tours
i sleep in the back
i quit my job to rap
and when the clouds are ominous and black
i feel like i’m ’bout to crack
that’s how i keep my life intact
feel like this is all that i have
bought a camper van for tours
i sleep in the back
i quit my job to rap
and when the clouds are ominous and black
i feel like i’m ’bout to crack
that’s how i keep my life intact
feel like this is all that i have
[verse 3]
so ask my dad about when he picked me up at midnight
because my momma’s barred out and i got into a big fight
what she said in the driveway was sick, it was demonic
we drove away in silence shocked until i put on a song that
supplemented the suffering for a moment we were a sabbath song
the mystical riffs lifted us above the wrath of mom
’till it was in the past and gone, and that’s just what i do
when sh*t hits the fan, it’s music that get’s me through
but hip hop is an umbrella term, at least it is for me
in encompasses every aspect of the culture that there can be
which is everything, from knowing music’s history
to expressing yourself visually, sonically and physically
to running a business independently living efficiently
saying what you feel, all while improving mentally
so while this is all i have, i am creating as a whole
my self and rap are a double helix and it’s just out of my control

- feral the earthworm lyrics

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