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funerals - fascinating aida lyrics

[dillie]
ooh, pigs in blankets!

[adèle]
eighteenths, twenty*firsts, weddings, christenings
milestones rushing past
anniversaries, then retirement
life goes by so fast

it’s good to know there will always be an excuse for celebration
and the parties i go to nowadays don’t need an invitation

i’m off to a funeral, hippity hip hooray!
a person i didn’t know very well has sadly passed away
it’s taking place in leamington spa, which is always nice to visit
well at my time of life it’s a pleasant day out, that’s not too much to ask now, is it?

i’m off to a funeral, a colleague of mine is dead
the woman had bored mе for years and years, now she’s boring god instеad
i’ll have to set off early, the journey’s a bit of a swine
but my bag is large and roomy so i can nick a bottle of wine

but oh gosh, i don’t get out like i used to do
at my age festive occasions are far too few
last rites give us a chance to fraternise
we’ll sing some turgid hymns and then we’ll socialise
i’m off to another funeral, with sandwiches and cake
catch up with those ghastly cousins of mine, i love a jolly good wake
we’ll tell each other “you haven’t changed”
we’ll be lying through our t**th
“donate to the chosen charity?”
well it’s cheaper than a wreath

we all must die, it’s part of god’s grand design
the late lamented had a sad decline
she didn’t want to go on, her bed sores were chronic
make mine a triple hendrick’s, just a splash of tonic

it’s yet another funeral, someone’s gone to eternal rest
it’s a humanist service, so that’ll be dreary
the catholics do it best
oh yes, it’s sad that what’s*her*face has met her timely end
but secretly it’s cheering to think i’ve outlived another friend

i hear marjorie’s poorly… see you soon!

- fascinating aida lyrics

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