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my life - ethan-r-h lyrics

(intro)

now that cache data is out my brain
it’s clear enough to tell this story

(verse i)

now back when i was five or six
my parents went through their divorce
and i didn’t really show how i was feeling, but honestly i thought you were all pr-cks
but i didn’t even 20% understand the cause
then i got to the age of nine
and i slowly began to find
the answer to the question i kept asking
what just happened? it was such a cr-ppy thing
the reason my mum told me not to tell my dad about the time we went bowling
with her friend from uni, cause
my mother didn’t keep her promise, and went and cheated
on my dad, it left him such a mess
now i don’t want to start sh-t, it’s already happened
it’s in the past, i’m just trying to get this the f-ck off my chest
by writing it down, and saying it loud
rapping it proud
cause it’s helped craft a personality amongst this crowd
so guys please don’t get mad
just this cr-p has been weighing on my shoulders
slowly making my depression and anger issues really bad
but this must be said, or i’ll lose track or mix up my mental folders

(bridge)

this is just the first part of my life story
if i upset any of my family i’m, truly sorry
i know each line is hitting you like a ten-tonne lorry
travelling at you doing 70, when your heading straight at it at 80

(hook)

but i’m writing just so it’s no longer caged in my brain
so i can unlock the bars that made up the frame
and spit them out, but i don’t want fame
like yeah it would be nice i guess
just not of this
it’s just something i need to face
or it’ll just eat me from the inside out, no matter how much i try drowning it with b-ss

(verse ii)

anyway regardless
i’m starting to digress
back to my story
sh-t, i missed a section, sorry
between six and nine
i moved to my second school, and it seemed fine
one week, two weeks, having a good time
finally beginning to settle in, but after about a month
two dudes came up to me on the playground at break, and called me a puff
when i got home in my head i was re-playing that
just thinking man, what the f-ck does that mean?
boys you didn’t even know me
so why the f-ck why were you mean?
yeah, i was the new guy in town
but i never got the chance to prove myself to anyone around
so you decided, “hey let’s put this guy down”
month after month, week after week!, day after day!
each time you would just change what you would do and say
now you would think
from the teachers stares and shouts they would get the hint
oh wait, the teachers all batted a f-cking eye
they were meant to step in, but they just threw me to the lions and said their final goodbye
reached the end of my tether the day the bullies & co dragged me by my trousers across the field
when i got up i punched one of them so hard it took nearly 2½ weeks for his face to be fully healed
but when the head teacher dragged us all into her office
yeah it was the only time, but it was worth it, they all got done, and i finally got some f-cking justice

(bridge)

now this is just the first part of my life story
i hold no regrets for that verse, cause that sh-t was scary
so if your listening b-tches, f-ck you, look what you helped create
hey, tho i don’t believe in it, maybe this is my fate

(hook)

i’m writing so these thoughts are no longer caged in my brain
so i can unlock the bars that made up the frame
and spit them out, but i don’t want fame
like, yeah it would be nice i guess
just not off this
it’s just something i need to face
or it’ll just eat me from the inside out, no matter how much i try drowning it with b-ss

{verse iii}

now at the same time
i was living at mum’s, only seeing my dad every other weekend, i was losing my mind
“who’s house am i am at this week?”
“my dad’s? thank f-ck, i can get outta here, and i wanna be there for dad cause right now he’s so weak”
cause he was trying to forget what he and mum had emotionally
but doing that was like playing a game for the first time on the top difficulty
cause they had been together for over eight years, oh man
had me when he was nineteen, and she was twenty, god dam
why did you have to do this mum?
then again, i guess it worked out, i’m at a good school, meaning i ain’t dumb
but it took two years for dad to once again be emotionally stable
would have been sooner but his nan died, so he wasn’t able
but at least his mind was off mum
and he could go out and actually have some fun

(verse iv)

the day after my ninth birthday
i finally moved schools, a couple of months after i decided to no longer pray
i fitted in quickly, i guess they saw that i had potential
cause i got put straight on the smart table
and hey, i didn’t, and still don’t give a sh-t if nerd or geek is my label
but that didn’t really matter cause we were all accepted
maybe cause they grew up together, and i was just another like them, but what ever helps u go to bed
so i just went through the final three years of primary
getting more and more in to science and maths and caring less about personally following christianity
arguing, well more like toying, with my nan for fun
bout the origin of the earth and the sun
now don’t get me wrong, i respect your view
so what if mine is different to you
unless you’re s-xist, racist, or h0m-phobic
you guys can -n-lly f-ck yourself with a cinder block
anyway, during those three years i met my dad’s new girlfriend
they’re engaged now, to be happy, on me dad no longer depends
that was the easiest period of time in a while
not another load of cr-p to add to the pile
the worst thing was me nearly fainting in church during an easter service rehearsal
that was when i denounced faith completely, and that’s the only reason i dance with a devil

(outro)

this part is over its all been written
but the cage is only dented not broken
tho i feel like something’s just awoken
like something in the shadows of my head is lurking

- ethan r h lyrics

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