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to the future - eternia lyrics

ay, yo’. i admit to you
moms raised me alone without a dude so i got some issues
i could say ‘i do’
but before i do you should know some things that i have been through
pops was not a nice dude
he tried to k!ll my mother this one time. i was still in the womb
so does that make me the fool?
cause when i call him up now and then and say “i love you”, it’s true
i left home at 15
i was dating this dude nine years old. it wasn’t as weird as it seems
cause he treated me better than i had ever been
and to this day that fact’s still the same
the same year i was -ssaulted with a gun
these dudes locked me in a room, molested me for fun
i swear i would scream, or i’d run
if i told my pops, they’re done, but i thought of their mothers with dead sons
and that’s empathy. i wish i was cold
cause if i was i could have stripped for a dollar, but i couldn’t risk my soul
so i didn’t. i left school, came back, finished
and went to college and graduated with honours, but get this:
memories my mind conveniently erases
strange homes, alone. got touched in strange places
that’s why i freak out when you touch me
and i’m screaming. i don’t know it’s you; it’s just my past evil demons
and they’re plenty. they haunt me all the time
i ain’t ready for love. i never knew who he was or when he met me
so i looked for him in all the wrong faces
got used by more than one dude. in fact, most of them were faking
so when you talk about making a life
i think about it too. i k!lled already. it’s too late for me, right?
yeah, yo you could make me your wife
but why would you want to? i got problems, so go on, go on, go on…

- eternia lyrics

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