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screwed up - estae lyrics

everyday been a test, why stay timid and tense why stay living in debts i’m as deep as it gets, memories f-ck with my head tryna sleep mixing uppers and meds yeah this mind is a mess, trip out and fight with my friends
wishing my life would just end and demember the pain all the times and the names of a friend been engraved on a stone now my heads in stare at the ground, turn back to easier routes, rise up fall back down and i’d do it again
she saying i need to slow down say i’m fine but its hard to pretend they can see in my eyes, pain on this smile, hate it deep down know full well i’m not fine
that’s just the life, back to no sleep in the night, back to a creeping demise, i feel these demons arise lucky i dug a few holes, lucky i stuck to my goals, lucky that i’ll never fall but the strength in my psychi still taking its toll
still on the doll don’t scape but i’m still on a roll, f-ck all my homies i can call i don’t know who is there, faded but always aware so i know if a rat in my lair
money run low, so i stay moving em squares, pushing em off get em back like a boomer, plug just rang and he told me to keep up this music we know that the possy will move up
think that i’m doing this sh-t for myself must be dumb and the reason im probably screwed up to much time had faith in a snake now this hearts stone cold like the gaze at medusa
stomach rumbling i gotta eat, people telling me i needa sleep, packet of xans and a blanket a bag and a cup of water would lie in the street
wondering when i could find me some peace, either that or get supplied with a piece, blew out the tip and put one in my head, or keep moving forward and finally breathe
whenever i pick up the mic i’m at ease, the only medicine that k!ll this disease, cause other than that all i got is my fam and these packs are on movers hide from police
warrants i can’t even visit my town get remanded and left in a whited out box but i got places that i needa be, and i got brothers that i needa see

- estae lyrics

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