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me when i can't - erickhatesbmc lyrics

[verse 1]

going on a rant
about me when i can’t
when i put on my pant
i look down and see my d*cks the size of an ant
(erectile dysfunction)
got that government grant
it’s making me chant
maybe it’ll make it grow like a plant
(v**gr*)
now i’m taking the pill
i sure hope this doesn’t go downhill
i can’t go back to the grill
i feel like a corporate shill
it’s making me ill
i’m getting chills
why am i growing gills?

my d*cks still not working
i don’t wanna keep lurking
my knee is jerking
this isn’t very awarding

my system isn’t absorbing
this pill isn’t converting
i feel like i’m burping
why’s my progress reverting?

now i’m screaming
wish i was creaming
at least i’m beaming
but inside i’m dreaming

got up, started typing
about piping
your mom to my liking
f*ck, she’s biting
but she’s also riding

me when i can’t
thats what i say when my d*ck starts to stall
call that a sensitive plant
your girl’s titties small
need a breast implant
maybe then she’ll crawl
while i give her my 2 inch eggplant

[verse 2]

me when i can’t
that’s what i say because my d*ck’s the size of an ant
but then i called up my aunt
and she made me pant
she made me eat a fire ant
(f*ck you susan)
might live in a power plant
and grow a roast beef plant
god, i love my government grant
it helps me when i can’t
now i got a farm of carpenter ants
i got big ass b*lls
some say they are really small
others say they are really tall
i think those people should live in a wall
before i walked i learned to crawl
love visiting niagara falls
i got big ass eyeb*lls
i still don’t know how to crawl
i trip a lot, i take lots of great falls
got a lot of haters, they all cornb*lls

my d*ck still dont work and now it itches
ive already lost all my b*tches
i got to big for my britches
my d*ck has twitches
and is 2 inches
i ain’t f*ck with all them snitches
the whole system got glitches
all my talisman legendary, you know they got enriches
and my d*ck still itches
my trailer is broken, that sh*t unhitches
sh*t keeps going into ditches

now i’m smoking beer
getting laughed at by my peers
“haha you hit a deer”
this is the worst school year
feeling the end of my career
might shoot a cashier
(blap pow pow)
right in the rear
rolling in on my john deere
(yeehaw)
feeling extra queer
(slay)
i’m a civil engineer
my b*tches all looking like william shakespeare
take their virginity like souvenirs
got new glasses, this sh*t looking crystal clear
(crystal meth)
my ass lookin like two spheres

all the video poker machines got glitches
losing all my b*tches
my d*ck still itches
still got all my riches
f*ck wait, this sh*t recycled, call it cardboard fishes

my car stuck in first gear
got it out, sh*t making me cheer
spiders are my biggest fear
now im rolling around in high gear

[outro]
me when i can’t
my d*ck no longer looks like an oyster plant
just had to f*ck my great aunt
now i got a big ass eggplant
no longer need a d*ck transplant
my d*ck no longer looks like a slant
i now longer have to say, me when i can’t

- erickhatesbmc lyrics

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