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murder on my mind (remix) - eric west lyrics

[intro]
hold up
hold up
this need some exposure
hood is like a battleground that’s breeding child soldiers
when will this be over

[verse 1]
ima tell a story bout the day i lost my mind
these suppressed memories i ain’t had in a long time
people pushed me often never knew the reason why
then one day i had it dawg these people crossed a line
always tryna f-ck with me when im just walkin by
why dont you just mind yo business and let me do mine
one got physical i wanted his -ss out my sight
so i choked him out i tried to send him to the sky
i was only 10 years old i had done this crime
lift him off the ground with no emotion in my eyes
one hand like a grown -ss man i squeezed until he cried
tried to speak with no air too late to apologize
before p-b-rty i attempted a homicide
whatever i dont care maybe 2 wrongs make this right
if you go to heaven please tell my grand mama hi
but i was way too soft so i let go of him in time

[hook]
murder on my mind
i had murder on my mind
murder on my mind
i had murder on my mind
you cannot expel me when these kids start all the fights
they came after me so i had murder on my mind
murder on my mind
i had murder on my mind
murder on my mind
i had murder on my mind

[verse 2]
left him red and gasping i think that he saw the light
next time you pull that again there won’t be a next time
you mean nothin to me i do not care if you die
so dont make me do somethin to make yo mama cry
but he never learned i think that he wanted to die
s-xual har-ssment tried to rub up on my thigh
choke slammed him into tables often, d-mn near broke his spine
stand above his body in the carnage where he lies
always took like 3 adults to get me out his sight
tryna seperate my grip with two hands they would pry
in that one semester tried to k!ll him 7 times
thank god i always let him go or i’d be doin life

[bridge]
hol up
hol up
story isn’t over
abuse in our homes causes us to lose composure
when will we have closure?

[verse 3]
“why are you so useless” is all that id ever hear
poppa worked 2 jobs all day and night he was not here
children supposed to love their moms, mine was my biggest fear
how you tell a child “pack your sh-t and dont live here”
4 years old im crying packin my clothes, toys and snacks
then she says i bought that sh-t you ain’t leavin with that
so i had to leave the house with nothin in my bag
just to be dragged back inside and whipped across my back
write a lot of sad music this is the reason why
earliest memories of her tryna see me die
i was just 10 years old my first attempt at suicide
ironic cuz all of my life at home had to survive
whip me with a belt buckle from my face to my rear
pinch with my the long -ss nails until she pierced my ear
threw me into furniture, blood drippin down my ear
shove my face into a fire if she saw a tear
feel the embers of the stove jumping onto my skin
im only 8 she’s an adult how the h-ll do i win?
put me in hot water i was small she had me pinned
pull my hair until it came out and looked uneven
she would put me through this for any small -ss reason
then lie to my father so that id get whooped again
but every night id pray to god to keep her safe from sin
i was raised by a monster why the f-ck she have a kid?

[hook]
she had murder on her mind
she murder on her mind
murder on her mind
she had murder on her mind
child services open a case, they came through twice
cuz they had found out she had murder on her mind
murder on her mind
she had murder on her mind
murder on her mind
she had murder on her mind
she was pregnant so i told the cops it was a lie
murder on her mind
she had murder on her mind

- eric west lyrics

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