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i'm sorry (remix) - eric west lyrics

[intro]
for i know the plans i have for you
plans to prosper you and not to harm you
plans to give you hope and a future

[verse 1]
i prayed to god today, although i don’t believe
but i spoke to dude today
talk to me about your plans for me before i go away
cuz im losing all my faith
you gon’ call me stupid, you gon’ say i’m selfish
for thinking of things i could harm myself with
y’all ignored the signs dawg i can’t help it
….
if you was in my shoes you would know what h-ll is
don’t worry bout me cuz no one else is
its only right that im feeling helpless
…..
no i ain’t crazy i don’t a shrink
got no vices don’t smoke or drink
don’t spill my blood only spill my ink
but i can’t form thoughts i just sit and blink
i don’t ask for much, at least i don’t think
actin fake happy tryna hide my kinks
i don’t mean to force it but im on the brink
poured so many tears in my bathroom sink
im tryna figure out whats wrong with me
cuz i know a lot of y’all stopped f-cking with me
that’s what i get for giving y’all sovereignty
that’s what i get for wearing my heart on a sleeve
for a lot of y’all i was ten toes down
but im being selfish i just realized it now
i done way more damage to myself
realizing i almost tried every drug on that shelf
and it wasn’t me giving up, i helped those who needed it
i just couldn’t get it for myself
bend over backwards for all y’all for years
but when it’s me n0body’s ever there to help
they say i didn’t reach, never let no one in
guess suffering in silence was my ultimate sin
but is it wrong to rip my soul out of my skin?
is it right for me to even live?
should i just go out? should i leave em a note?
a message to all the closest people i know?
im sorry i let you down, sorry i let you go
don’t judge me for taking the wrong road
id trade all these likes for some comfort instead
i think i would rather put a bullet to my head
brain covered in lead than to live another day
what more can i say?
got these anti depressants in my system
but they don’t stop the cause, they only treat symptoms
y’all see me for my art, see me for my wisdom
but no one sees me, no one sees the victim
you don’t see all of that, all you see is a smile
but a smile is a moment, i been depressed for a lifetime

[pre-choral interlude: eric]
did you really wanna die?
of course they didn’t wanna die
then why did they do it?
because they wanna stop the pain

[hook]
just make sure you tell my family it’s ok im sorry
but its too late im sorry
too much weighing on me
i don’t wanna live to see another day im sorry
but i can’t stay im sorry
too much weighing on me
just make sure you tell my family its ok im sorry
but its too late im sorry
too much weighing on me
i don’t wanna live to see another day im sorry
but i can’t stay im sorry
too much weighing on me

[verse 2]
i don’t wanna die!
but im struggling to stay alive
my memory’s fading, no sense of time
living in a fog, so desensitized
all the smiles i gave? all of that was a lie
i put up a front so i can get on by
cuz no one wants to be around the depressing guy
writing music cuz there’s no one i can let inside
this just a phase eric you can bet it homie…
how come none of my friends are here checkin on me…?
i let y’all vent to me when im deep in such pain that
when i wake up every day i wonder how
but i’m also to blame god i feel so frustrated
heart screaming out but there’s not a sound
you think you’re in pain? then think of my agony
my other half just left me, and with them my sanity
i tried to turn to my friends who i look at as family
but they not picking up, and they not getting back to me
so i convince myself that i don’t like you
buy into my so called brand new truth
even though i know it’s some bad voodoo
before you let me go i gotta cut you loose
so i end up losing friends who wasn’t even involved
burning long standing bridges for no reason at all
10 year friendships then i blink and it’s gone
yet i still wonder why i’m completely alone
i was holding you down with the companionship
but then you fell for him and you abandoned ship
we was smooth sailing guess you planned to dip
tryna take it like a man but oh man i just..
i can’t deal with the daily reminders of it
ignoring me thinking of the times you wasn’t
can’t explain it with any kind of rhyme construction
feeling smaller than a fly and im tired of bugging
why am i so blind? oh man im losing my mind
i got high school homies who decided to die
so i always tried to take it one day at a time
but my inner clock is off cuz i’m staying behind
the mind is a predator im the prey ima die
“dear lord watch them” i would pray to the sky
used to pray every night but all my prayers declined
now im praying to die forget waiting in line
i love you all, but i can’t stand being alive
never thought i’d be the one to say goodbye
i love you all, but i can’t stand being alive
never thought i’d be the one to say goodbye

[pre-choral interlude 2]
how do we see that which we do not see within ourselves?
our worst nightmare is the nightmare that is inside of us
sometimes even to live is an act of courage
don’t worry about my feelings…n0body else does
the worst part about heaven not existing if it doesn’t exist is that you spend your time on earth wondering if anyone would miss you and you never get to find out
well i heard the best kept secrets are the most painful, both for the people who kept them and for the people who ended up finding out in the end
always say “i love you”, “i miss you”, and “i care about you”…and more importantly

- eric west lyrics

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