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shaka zulu vs. julius caesar - epic rap battles of history lyrics

[intro]
epic rap battles of history!
julius caesar!
vs!
shaka zulu!
begin!

[shaka zulu]
iwisa, meet caesar, he’s a commander
who thinks he can dance with conan of the savannah
but when i go hand to hand with you, i go hammer
knock off his dome, wrap it up in his own banner
send it back to rome with a message from the zulu
if you battle shaka, this will happen to you
if you cross that equator, you’ll head straight into a m-ssacre
and get f-cked by more than just cleopatra in africa

[julius caesar]
you talk a lot of sh-t for a man wearing a diaper
i heard you had poison spit, where was it in this cipher?
cause all i hear is threats from a brute with no discipline
and i’m ruling over you like a boot full of my citizens
and you should take your cow skin shield and hide under it
you’re f-cking with the most triumphant third of the triumvirate
i’m first of the empire and the last of the republicans
and hunting you, accompanied by legions of my countrymen
ask my kidnappers if i’m just a sh-t talker
doc j dunk on you like, boom shakalaka!
so don’t go rattling your sticks at me
if i wanted to shake spears, i’d waggle my biography

[shaka zulu]
right i’ve heard of your play, tell me how does it end?
oh yes, you get stabbed many times by your friends
so, whatcha gonna do with your roman swords?
when the lines of your legions get gored by the h-rns
of the zulu, warriors! trained on th-rns
to dismember any emperor’s pasty white hordes
i got the strength of a lion and the speed of a cheetah
and everyone knows you’re just a chicken, caesar

[julius caesar]
oooh can i be a hyena? cause i’m going to laugh
i’ll pave roads with the bones of your goat herding -ss
first my front lines will drop back and spank you in the chest
then i’ll decimate your h-rns, you can’t outflank the best
let your reserves come at me, my ballista’s c-cked and (ready!)
when i take (aim!), i always keep my whole crew (steady!)
because there’s no use in murdering you and your heathen
you can grow my wheat for me, after you’re beaten

[outro]
who won?
who’s next?
you decide!
epic rap!
raaaaaaaaaaaap! hooroo!
battleee baattle baaatle!
of history!

- epic rap battles of history lyrics

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