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walmart vs target - epic rap battle parodies lyrics

[intro]
e*e*e*epic rap battle parodies
tar*tar*tar*tar*target
v*v*vs
wal*wal*wal*walmart
b*b*b*b*begin

[verse 1: target employee]
i expected more from your sh*tty corporation
but i payed less, you have no high expectations
always low prices? bullsh*t, you know that’s a lie
when you sell a pillow for the price of a golden chained tie
wipe off that smiley face like you did with the retro star
your deli reeks of a homeless boy who just came out of the bar
get ready, walmart, i’m gonna stomp you into a flea market
i’ll pull out my bow, because you are my next target
[verse 2: walmart employee]
talk about pay less when your economy is high
saying “herе pay 500 bucks for this cherry apple pie”
you sеll expired food, and you’re calling me a fraud?
i’m the true superstore, scr*p that, supergod
save money and live better when i kick your ass, i’m lovin’ it
serving you frying rhymes with a big mac
i’ve got prices that go down lower than your mother
i expected more from you, stay on target, you b*gg*r

[verse 3: k*mart employee]
attention, kmart shoppers, we got a special offer, homie
the ass*kicking of target and walmart for half price, limited time only
my cold rhymes will surely make you ship your pants
with these big gas savings, you’ll be left in a trance
i got a gas station, a car wash, and a café
this sh*t ain’t about the price tags, yeah, listen to jessie j
discount your lines from this battle, k*mart’s the one who’ll win
my raps are true bargains, yours just belong in the bin

[verse 4: gamestop employee]
gamestop it already, you so*called corporations
before i bioshock you, super smash you like a playstation
you think you’re superior enough to make everything you sell overpriced?
have a five*dollar coupon and a wii points card; buy yourself a life
my shops are all over the world with all sorts of awesome names
micromania, moviestop, babbage’s, eb games
i’ve got an impulse to tell you all that i’m the greatest retailer
so prepare to get crushed when i bring power to the players
[verse 5: toys r’ us employee]
kkkkkkk, yeah, shut the heck up and park it
go back to your clan, and step out of the black market
i only have to open up my doors and the children come flooding in
you break, you buy, so you better get on your ass, and start cleaning
you close your shop at 11 to have a break, i’m open all night
the only time i’d be a customer is to tell you i’m always right
i may be toys r us, but this battle belongs to me
screw target and the ‘marts, i make little kids happy

[verse 6: sam’s club employee]
you can call me sam’s club, b*tch, i got the ultimate deals
crushing you puny punks with my bulk, leave you in rubble, for reals
i’ll put your ass on blast, you two marts and sh*t, selling everything on clearance just to market it
i’ll start a fit with wits, so let me target this, you motherf*ckers should know never to come at this
and gamestop, get real, what’s with your sh*tty ass trades?
i’m attracting buying customers, leave all your stores deserted for days
and what’s your giraffe ass gonna do? splash me with a water gun?
you’re just a toys r’ us b*tch, insert pedophile pun

[verse 7: walgreen’s employee]
alright motherf*ckers, welcome to walgreen’s
i’m the dopest pharmacy store, that you’ve done ever seen
i have a h*ll load of customers, but enough time to f*ck you up
i’ll diss every aspect of you, from walfart to g*y*stop
what would you guys be without me? just one pile of sh*t
my service is twenty times faster, just go on and live with it
we bring pills, ointments and plasters in all kinds of colors
i’ll bury you all alive with this shovel, only twenty*five dollars
[verse 8: kroger employee]
you cheesy cr*ppy supermarkets ain’t seen nothing yet
i’ve got better products than all of you, we don’t even need to bet
what the h*ll is a sam’s club? man, just merge yourself with bj’s
you f*ggots, you literally proved that stores can be g*ys
you think you can outnumber me? ha, you’re really out of luck
if you’re not satisfied with the product, i don’t give a f*ck
toys r us likes little kids? huh, what a perv
this final line is like my checkout, cause you just got served

[verse 9: costco employee]
clear your shelves, i’ll shut you down, i’ll be the number one retailer
i’d say the same for you, but you’re all just failures
these rhymes are just a sample of what i can do to you
i’ll cream you punks and turn you into quality food
we’re vip, only the best deserve to enter
you drain the souls of all your shoppers just like a dementor
you can’t win, it’s impossible; i’m afraid you’ve lost yo
so drop like my prices and bow down to costco

[verse 10: mall security]
the greatest supermarket coming in, who you gonna call?
if you think you won’t fall, then suck this mall’s b*lls
i’ve been around for ages, yet you call yourself history?
when i was built, all you f*ggots wanted to come inside of me
where else can you get a video game and a meal?
a mall is filled with everything, it’s pretty much the best deal and
without me, you guys would all have nowhere to live
so be thankful, otherwise i’ve got no k’s to give
walmart, i got paul blart, target, you’re not god
you aren’t o*k*mart and gamestop’s just got cod
step into my food court, you won’t be acquitted
cause you’re walgreen of jealousy, fellas, you’re all b*tches just admit it
isn’t it a gimmick when you’re pinning down the king
you’re just little pr*ck thrift shops, who think you can win it
well it’s time to lock up for the night, your shift’s done
i’ve put you all out of business, and there are no refunds

[outro]
who won?
who’s next?
you decide!
epic rap battle parodies
that was too slow, go a little bit slower
who won?
who’s next?
you decide!
epic rap battle parodies

- epic rap battle parodies lyrics

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