jay gatsby vs christian grey - epic rap battle parodies lyrics
christian grey:
“mr grey will see you now” watch me and my tie
battling a waste of money that makes his book cover want to cry
let’s put that blindfold on, strap your belt on tight
driving through a valley of ashes, i’mma give you the green light
you might be dapper but when rapping i’m the sh*t
pumped up full of l*st when i’m cranking out these hits!
you’re just taking shots both ways, so don’t be too hazy
and we’ll be taking this to the graveyard, where i’ll be “pushing daisies”
jay gatsby:
stand up! for this wanna be looking*like*a*million*bucks rover
this h*rndog started at the bottom, and somehow went even lower!
throwing partiеs every week, making 50 shades of green
a camеra adds 10 pounds, but your wiener’s still small on the big screen!
greed is the ultimate key to any ceo’s success
sipping champagne and letting my flapper ladies do the rest
got roaring twenties in my pocket, you’re a closet fiend of s*x
now, i see you with my eyes, you looked better in the text!
augustus gloop:
gluten tag! i’ll take a break to eat you and the beat
got raps as golden as the bits of ticket in my t**th
i flow like the chocolate river! but like the tube, you suck!
i’m not one to turn down food, but get away with those grey nuts!
pop your egos like a blueberry, don’t touch me when i’m hung*ary
i’ll munch up this whole factory and suffocate you in gluttony
no stopping me, a gob*stomping spree on fools who lost their man cards
i’ll be sitting pretty in candy city and winning big with a chocolate bar!
tom sawyer:
augustus, put the chocolate down, ???
this big nincomp**p’s stuck in a world of pure blubber
down in the south, my tales are considered a masterpiece
you’re slower than a sloth, ‘cept in gaining them calories
maybe try a couple of huckleberries, ???
mark my words, ??? twain!
i won’t whitewash the fence, cause you bums will do it for me
and i reckon, this verse will surely make becky adore me
carrie white:
get off your country b*tt, go back to blowing little huck
i’ll take the blood from you pigs, and pour it on jay’s bucks!
your pathetic paintbrush don’t impress me! i’ll unleash my wrath at last
this isn’t prom night, but with these words, i’ll still burn your ass!
you’re making me crazy like my mother, i’ll bring pain to ya
i’ll cross chris, leave his limp d*ck whipped like anastasia
gloop, you can’t carrie your own weight, so don’t dare come near me, kid
i’ll come on top and leave you humiliated. period
macbeth:
i’ve been told, in prophecy, i’ll leave five weaklings staggered
i’ll take a stab at it, but tis not a floating dagger
you envy me? i’m dastardly! your tragedy is written
i don’t need this bl**dy baby, i’ve got three apparitions!
this scot’s got it on loch, “out, d*mned spots”! flow like liquid
leave you double doubled over, spitting verses truly wicked!
so exit macbeth, and exeunt all you knaves
i’ve left this cursed, thou hast been scottish played!
victor frankenstein:
(evil laugh) the beat is alive!
so, it’s time for frankenstein to give you all a lesson in pride!
going ham*let on any one of shakespeare’s little b*tches
please stop humoring me, because you’ve left me in stitches!
no way you can stop this doctor, sh*lley*ing out all these classic rhymes
the universe is not mistaken, i’m a monster on the mic!
i spit avalanching rhymes so hard they scale on the richter
there’s no way to step to me, cause this doctor is the victor!
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