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bowser vs ganondorf - epic rap batles of history lyrics

[intro]
epic rap batles of history!
bowser
vs
ganondorf!
begin!

[verse 1: ganondorf]
the best nintendo boss since shigeru, releasing gan*endorphins
i’m a wild boar, while you’re wildly boring
on my day off, they bring the moon down, tremendous
on your day off, you play tennis (serving)
i am a pure form of hatred, an evil burning
this turtle reached sp*ce but he still ain’t maturin’
you’re an oaf, a buffoon. you’re a children’s cartoon
intimidation goes as far as mario karts do
so act cute, koopa, but i’m ganon
you wouldn’t branch on my canon if you blast me with cannons
jack black ain’t half the talent as that ocarina
i’m sipping on the tears of the mushroom kingdom
hey, look, listen, it can be hard to top a donkey kong
but mario’s missing since bottling alcohol on game & watch
a testy tеstudine harping on like sheik
shall makе like tanookis or deku trees, and leaf

[verse 2: bowser]
you’s a damsel in distress ‘gainst the mighty king koopa
rain fire from the sky like a pack of paratroopas
i’m sl!ck as a blooper, smart as lex luthor
the best kind of foe for a puny little super
my enemy’s handy and i’m asking
why you go and fight a small, blond michael jackson?
spend less time with the triforce of power
and learn how to use a motherf*cking shower
if my raps make you suffer, then i’m happy
you think you’ll take over my mind? that’s cappy
your plot stops at the planet while i shoot for the moon
and my galaxy battalion is set to conquer you
you say you strong, but, d*mn, you’re trash
ganon’s bottom tier and he still down to smash?
you been burnt to a crisp like we cranked up the dial
on the fire in my mouth – the breath of the wild
[verse 3: ganondorf]
the dragon is dragging behind. it’s too easy
subsp*ce emissary? you’re a subspecies
between you and me and your koopalings
you been putting me through the wringer (die)
whether wind waker or link’s awakening
only one motherf*cker could think of taking me
i play a critical role, that’s why they casted matt mercer
and this gerudo torso is only a precursor
‘cause i don’t need a physical form, there’s no dissing this
you’re myopically fighting no body – i’m odysseus
your ridiculous schemes, sic bowwow on your trousers
‘till they blow up in your face like, “so long, g*y bowser”

[verse 4: bowser]
b*tch, you’re a fool, and with my bars i’m gonna rule
b*tch, understand, i’ll kick your ass until the very end
ganon you’ll get crushed you know the win will be mine
once i, bust these rhymes, ugh
your verses are slipping, were banana peels in the way?
b*tch you gotta be trippin’ if you think your winning this race
you’re a villains disgrace, getting a headb*tt to the face
i’m spitting hotter than world 8 when bowsers flames engage
i’m k!lling the flow, you don’t even know, getting better and better with every game as i go
your level is low, i’m running the show, beat mario and super smash his ho
bro, you got knocked out by the evil king of nintendo
did ganon”dwarf” stand a chance? i don’t f*cking think so
[outro]
who won?
who’s next?
you decide!
epic… rap… batles… muwahahahaha
batles of history!

- epic rap batles of history lyrics

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