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ash ketchum vs chris hansen - epic rap batles of history lyrics

[intro]
epic rap batles of history!
ash ketchum
vs
chris hansen
begin!

[verse 1: ash ketchum]
i’ve finally found you! i’m glad we get to meet
at last my plan for pokémon collection is complete!
now stand right there as i pull out my master ball
and throw that sh*t to the ground. yeah, gotta catch ’em all!

[interlude: ash ketchum and chris hansen]
wait, what?
why don’t you take a seat right there?
what?
please
i don’t understand, what is going on?

[verse 2: chris hansen, ash ketchum, and batman]
what did you come here to do?
i came to catch that pokémon
and you think it’s okay? to go and throw around your b*lls?
towards this pokémon who in your whole life you’ve never seen?
it’s just a pokémon
ash, she’s 13 (what?)
you got some wires messed up if you plan to dance with chris hansen
i catch more loony peasants than batman (he ain’t messin’)
your sh*tty game is so boring i put it back on the shelf
slavery’s a serious crime, what do you have to say for yourself?
[verse 3: ash ketchum]
well i sure have to mention this to this physical dementia
this activity’s a leisure on the pokémon dimension
and in your dimension all i see’s a washed up clout chaser
while my games still top the charts to this day you foul hater

[interlude: ash ketchum and chris hansen]
now press a on me
what?
come on, press a on me
uhh…okay…here i go

[chorus: ash ketchum]
ah, ah, ah, ya got duped son
ah, ah, ah ya got duped
ah, ah, ah, ya got duped son
pikachu, i’mma choose you!

[verse 4: pikachu]
i’m pikachu from the gba
i pika choose to electrocate
i peek*a*boo from the grass from dudes
and hide from you that’s a*ok
i never met a trainer that i did not like
i never met a pokémon that did not bite
i never see a old man acting so mad rude
so i’m gonna have to electrocate your face
[verse 5: onix]
onix hooked on phonix, read up on it
if you want it come and get it
drop a rock up on it, rock slide on your bonner
come and get it, never split it
rock ‘em, sock ‘em where your head is
you know you wanna get rock hard when you grip it

[hook: venasaur and onix]
venusaur make that ass go clap (whip, whip)
make it snap
venusaur make that ass go clap (whip, whip)
make it snap
venusaur make that ass go clap (whip, whip)
make it snap
venusaur make that ass go clap (whip, whip)
make it snap

[interlude: snorlax, ash ketchum, and chris hansen]
snorlax (*snoring*)
snorlax, come on! wake up bro!
ah, whatever. i think i’ve got you hands down
you know, ash
what?
i really don’t care how many pocket monsters you throw at me
oh really?
actually you know that makes it worse right?
like, this is a serious crime
who even are you?
oh you don’t know? well, prepare to get schooled
[verse 6: chris hansen, ash ketchum, and pikachu]
i’m chris hansen, representin’ dateline nbc
when i arrive into the scene you know i make peeps freeze
‘cause i catch more predators than mike harrigan
to make the world better, you’re just carryin’ out your fantasies
claim that you’re innocent, but we know that’s a sham
i’ve caught a lot of people who happened to be your fans
and here’s a part time detective, i see that you’re his subordinate
who complies with his crimes? man, reality’s unfortunate (pikachu)
quit tryna be dodgy, my mission ain’t stoppin’
me and my copies all over the world put evil on blast like team rocket
you can’t (oopth) your way outta this, i’m putting an end to your schemes
i’m getting tired, can i go?
yes, you’re free to leave

[interlude: ash ketchum and police]
let’s go, pikachu!
we’ll catch that pokémon another time
police! get down! get down now!
pikachu, help! use thunderbolt!

[verse 7: ash ketchum]
i leave my home, start my journey all alone and
no.. no, i’ll leave you all in a coma (gotta catch ’em all!)
your theories aren’t eerie, they’re ethereal diseases
i’m the leader, and i’ll turn you into ash for your treason
my vision’s blurry, i can’t see (stop! pikachu!)
i thought we were all a team, maybe this is all a dream
your existence is fiction, you rather hurt than feel hurting
time to show you what i’ve learned on my pokémon journey
stage 1: strike you with the bolt of lightning in my pocket
stage 2: ignite your fires and blast you like team rocket
stage 3: water gun you down with flows you can’t test
stage 4: make new friends and become the very best!
if this is all in my head, sprawled on a hospital bed
then i’m forever in debt to recycle the r.e.m
come on! you pasta people can’t quite catch up
well, this battle is done, so let me pull the plug

[outro]
who won?
who’s next?
you decide!
epic rap battles of… pokemon

- epic rap batles of history lyrics

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