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yuri gagarin vs. jacques cousteau - epic fanmade rap battles of history lyrics

[announcer]
epic rap battles of history!!
jacques cousteau
versus
yuri gagarin
begin!

[verse 1: yuri gagarin]
let’s go, let’s ride
let us start our verbal sparring
i see you’ve come to get your ass
kicked by gagarin
you’re a married man who would rather have
s*x with the sea
i’m the columbus of the cosmos
you’re the paris hilton of oceanography
i’m orbiting your sorry ass
spitting missiles of disses
you best watch yourself
’cause i’m about to get vicious
you’re gonna need an aqua*lung
’cause you’re in some deep sh*t
i’m looking and looking
but i don’t see how you could win

[verse 2: jacques cousteau]
sure, you can sit
and yackety*yack about the past
but it’ll be a miracle
if you’re alive after this rap
you’re known as a hero
but you don’t pose a thrеat
you were in sp*ce for two hours
and diеd in a training jet
i’ve got problems with you
and i’ll remain outspoken
beating you is just gonna be
a drop in the ocean
you’re a conceited b*st*rd
earth doesn’t revolve around you
with one swing of my fist
you’ll be seeing black and blue
[verse 3: yuri gagarin]
i could fight you for hours
but i’m wasting my time
no matter how long i wait
you won’t win
i guess i’m
raising the pace of
the rhymes taking place
as they race out of my mouth
and straight at your face
you’re not falling with grace
you’re just getting erased
as i break this disgrace
without leaving a trace
i’m frankly just better
than this silly cousteau
spitting rhymes with such force
i’ll make an ocean overflow
i’ve got power
it’s like a concussion
i’ve crushed ya
i’ve jacked around this jacques
all for mother russia

[verse 4: jacques cousteau]
unless you want to go to sp*ce again
i suggest you can it
’cause if you say one more word
then i’ll knock you right off this planet
you’re called the first human in sp*ce
but that makes me grumpy
i’m a scientist, yuri
you’re not a man
you’re a monkey
you might be able to rap fast
but do you think i give a cr*p?
your b*lls are bigger than my ships
to challenge me to duel raps
i’m the winner of this fight
my rhymes burn like embers
let me turn the table, comrade
how about you surrender?
[announcer]
who won?
you decide!!
epic rap
battles
of history!!!!!!!

- epic fanmade rap battles of history lyrics

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