st. nicholas vs jesus christ - epic fanmade rap battles of history lyrics
[verse 1: saint nicholas]
may i tell you about our lord and savior jesus christ?
he’s about to get whooped because he hasn’t been nice!
you’re about as artificial as a tree made of aluminum!
i’ll butcher you with rhymes and kick you right back to jerusalem!
i’ve got the power you don’t know, you better listen up, homie!
watch out, ’cause i’m about to re*define the word holy!
you think you’re better? well then i’ve got some bad news
your mother calls herself a virgin to forget she ever had you!
[verse 2: jesus christ]
i’d watch your mouth, you could rеally tick someone off
you must be crazy if you think you can bеat the son of god!
i’ll erase you from christmas on behalf of all the hebrews
i’m a prophet, you’re just a silly man who makes wheat grow
i know what you’re thinking, but don’t even mention religion
unless you’d rather face an army of angry jews, muslims, and christians!
get off your high reindeer and look into my eyes
nicholas, the only wonders you’re working are lies!
[verse 3: santa claus]
ho, ho, ho! santa claus is here to win this!
i’m the face of this season, that’s why they call me father christmas!
i travel the world in one night, you just walk over lakes
i think you’re just mad because you never got a birthday cake!
i’m a happy sack of joy stuffed with all kinds of abilities
i’m bigger than your ego, and i can even fit down a chimney!
this battle is over, and now that you’ve seen the light
merry christmas to all, and to all a good night!
[verse 4: jesus christ]
so now i’m facing the dumber version of your ass
the one who sits in malls and lets children sit on his lap!
and when you look on your list to see who’s naughty and nice
you find the nice kids on the left, and yourself on the right!
you work one day a year yet you haven’t gotten laid off?
why don’t you lose some weight and find yourself a real job?
i’m the reason for the season, you do nothing but cheer
you should pray to me, i’m the savior of your career!
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