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mark twain vs oscar wilde - epic fanmade rap battles of history lyrics

[verse 1: oscar wilde]
alas, people will laugh as i sass this lass with no class!
i can resist everything, except the chance to kick your ass!
who knew such a small town could produce such a big tool?
when people hear hannibal, they think of a man who was actually cool!
i’m spitting more than table talk at this hairy, old, geek
i’ll enslave you like jim and send you back to poverty!
i shouldn’t have to face you sammy, this is just silly!
’cause it’s the world’s greatest author versus steamboat willie!

[verse 2: mark twain]
i read dorian gray, it was rather strange and louche
you best go run and hide in your trashcan, oscar the grouch!
when i walk down the streets of missouri, ladies can’t help but smile
your wife constance? she drove me wilde!
come come, you dum*dumb. why don’tcha grow some you bum chum?
no need to sue for g*y jokes, you want some? come get some!
i’ll send you back to prison ’cause i’m sure they love the way they treat ya’
and then tom’ll drop a bucket of paint on this creature!

[verse 3: oscar wilde]
i had very high hopes for you, but you’re less than second rate!
’cause all you seem to care about is the importance of being straight!
my rhymes will guarantee you that your heart never pounds!
i’ll stab you with my pen and bury you twelve feet underground!
[verse 4: mark twain]
n0body even cares about your books, how inane!
you better be in pain now that you’ve felt the wrath of mark twain!
you’re just a p*ssy irish writer that can’t rap for sh*t
i will not attend your funeral, but i will definatly approve of it!

- epic fanmade rap battles of history lyrics

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