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find you - eon zero lyrics

look, i’ve been trying to find my way to you
been up for six nights in this empty room
i write for hours till i can see or move
and convince myself that this garbage is really worthless
i had an idea that i could change the world
like i could rearrange the pain and just make it work
but if i can’t do it in my head were all this pressure sits
when i can’t even express how bad my depression is
and you don’t love what love, if you don’t know what pain is
and since the day you changed, i ain’t been the same kid
cause every night is getting worst and i can’t take it
cause i fight inside my mind and i cannot change it
sometime’s i lay awake yelling god till he hands us back
i always lose my voice first, so i’m asking him like where you at
yeah, i’m sure you got a plan but i need help
just tell me i’m gon’ to be okay, i’m by myself

look if you can’t help i understand it
i probably deserve worse cards then i was handed
my family was broken and i see the damage
and since you left, my brain is empty and i’m feeling [???]
lost you to pills and alcohol, man it gets me choked
tried to help you change but got lost in the cigarette smoke
you said what’s the point of you breathing if you don’t feel alive
and you find that you fail at everything that you seem to try
but what about your family ha, just accept that you gave up ha
you lost everybody close to you, deal with it, isn’t that what your suppose to do?
look at there faces, they say the reason that their living
is a bigger purpose than you and while were existing
wasting time but i’ll be here if i can
i spent my life trying to save you but don’t know who i am
and i’m caught inside my mind, i’m still searching for you
i don’t know who i am, but i’ll find you, and i’ma find you
i’ll find you, i’ma find you, and i’ll find you

you ever dealt with suicidal thoughts
you ever think that life is an addiction and maybe you should try to stop
if i’m church they say to talk to god, and all these pills are saying talk to god
but i’m never good at making decisions, this is when i usually think of prescriptions
and try to numb my brain so i don’t know what is or isn’t
i’m [???] but my family is christian when i’m talking they don’t ever listen
and lately, i feel like i’ve been abandoned this the position i’m in
this is the difference between the [wat da faq did this man say?]
don’t get addicted to happiness, prescription pills in the tablets
[i only here pppp] you’re living with madness
if you don’t quit you’re living with sadness d*mn
if you don’t quit then living with xanax
and when i’m staring inside the mirror i f*cking panic
i put my fist into a ball and i f*cking crack it
i take the glass out of the mirror, find a piece that is jagged
and stick it straight to my wrist
i like to think about my life as if i didn’t exist
as if no one in this universe that it could affect
i like to slice a little bit of flesh when i get upset
i like to see the blood that’s in my veins
oh, this is so insane, i start to pass out
and i see the carpet start to stain
the darkness starts to take control of all my brain
i feel heart and my consciousness as i start to fade
and i’m caught inside my mind, i’m still searching for you
i don’t know who i am, but i’ll find you, and i’ma find you
i’ll find you, i’ma find you, and i’ll find you

- eon zero lyrics

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