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blackout (outro) - elysiansoul lyrics

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[monologue]
i was supposed to go on a night out
and i was just in such a bad place
i hadn’t eaten for weeks
i was abusing alcohol
and i’d already had a lot to drink that night

and i was in such a bad place
i just knew that i
i could never feel happiness ever again
it’s this weird feeling

but it was
it was then that i knew that i had to do it
so, i did
i woke up in hospital
and i knew
i was totally alone
and i knew that i had to get rid of them
i had to get rid of the pills, out of my stomach
and that i’d made a mistake

something that always sticks in my mind
on that day was
a nurse came in
and she said to me, “don’t be sick”
because it was unhygienic
and, you know what?
i kept doing it anyway
i kept throwing up right in front of her
because i wanted to save my life

it madе me realise that
thеre is no one else who is
going to come save you
you have to save yourself

i walked home by myself
it was about five in the morning
it was such a beautiful morning
it was so crisp, and there was this haze
this low, dusky, morning haze
and i learned a really important lesson that day
i no longer starved myself
or hurt myself
i hit rock bottom
i blacked out
and i decided to live

- elysiansoul lyrics

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