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never apparent enough - ​elliebell lyrics

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last year i held still, hidden in stagnation
evoked by pieces i need to cut out
cave under her standards, i don’t mind
able to hold a lie until i’m talking too loud

will you feel ashamed when you see me
if i make my wounds apparent
i’m not the kid you want
and i’m more than you deserve

contort me into something else
so it’s easy on your stomach
i’ll dream of intent to rip the insides out
please don’t take this away
a distressed, enduring wonder
dispelled as it yearns for a shred of doubt

i scream things that define me
things you hate to hear
i miss that kind of support
i’m running towards you, please turn back
recollection washed in somers trees
but i can’t hold out much longer

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