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the summer ends! - elizabeth whitington lyrics

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summer never ends in my room all alone
stockpile bags of pills to dry swallow just how i feel
“it’s not you, it’s 100% you and your brain.”

walking down the aisle, tongue*tied
“what do you want to do with your life?”
i want to end it, isn’t it so f*cking obvious?

(i lost it all in the worst of the seasons, the sickness spread with a sense of regret, my eyes refuse to focus to exist, this lack of self does its best to forget!)
(*incoherent screaming* i’m falling short of what my breathing demands, oh!)
(i won’t be here to correct you when you use my deadname! i won’t be here to forget you!)

i feel so f*cking illiterate
the seeds that were planted in my mouth have hatched a plan
to hijack my brain and make me feel joy again
i feel so f*cking belligerent
why must i always stop the knife from going into my skin
and hitting styro so i don’t pass out?

i feel so f*cking illiterate
the seeds that were planted in my mouth have hatched a plan
to make me feel dumb and make me feel young again
i feel like i was never fit for this
i was never meant to be here for more than these 16 years
why must i always resign myself to being so depressed?
it’s familiar to me!

- elizabeth whitington lyrics

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