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every worthlessness - ​elizabeth whitington lyrics

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everybody’s going to love me
once i change who i am completely
seeing pretty girls on my twitter feed
i can’t seriously be crying over my body

i’m “getting better”, taking pills and writing letters
making sure i never bring my work and home life closer together than it already is
dead kids line the streets where yara lives
stunned hospital children who make the garroted heads
in the suburb their home
grief grows and festers all alone
when you’re reading your old goodbye notes
and the birthday cards they wrote
saying “i love you” and “i miss you”
while silently changing all the words to past tense in your mind
f*ck you and f*ck your stupid little hotline
and f*ck all of them for making me think i wanted to stay alive

because it’s a year later and now i’ve figured out that they were all actors
i employed them when i showed just how worthless i am
theater kids with big complexes, their first big moment
just another thing to add to their list of great performances
i can make sure my lungs give out onto the pavement
if it makes you feel better, if aubree would allow it
i would shove my thumbs into their face and drown in their essence
it’s not enough to be overtly drunk
oh, who would’ve thought a kiss could dig a grave
oh, i will surrender my body to someone that doesn’t love me
oh, i’ll always be the reason i can’t relax

this bird is boring and stupid
let’s cut her head off and use it as a fleshlight
to pick off our termites
these dumb white pills are a useless sign
of my chemical dependence
love a cut wrist, speak out the demos of sentences
get it all out before they know what you’ve done and what you’re all about

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