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real mayo - elijah kuchler lyrics

[intro]
uhh…
so like
kinda like doing nothing jus-just sitting
oh uh, it’s lil eli on the – track
never mind, i don’t really feel like doing…

[verse: 1]
what
i realize there is something i can not live without in my daily routine
tryna think, it’s smooth it’s creamy, i need it now, please
(yeah) wait, i think i know, the familiar texture is coming to me
(oouu) real mayonnaise, not fake, real mayonnaise, i need it now, please
(yuhh) i need it now please, not going to the store, i need it now, please
not in a minute, nope, i need it now, please
wait, it’s probably in my fridge
so like, i go down i open the fridge, it’s not there! what do i do, heck
i guess, now i’m sad
i tell you why i like mayonnaise
i eat it on the couch, keep it in my pouch
without it, i am a grouch
i like mayonnaise, eat it with my pb&j
it tastes so good
would it make it pb&j&m
anyway, i eat them
you should try it
i’ll sell it, you buy it
i’ll make it the triple dog dare
i don’t know, i don’t care
i can’t find my mayo anywhere
sadness for my tastebuds
think about it, makes some floods in my mouth
all the mayo makes my head go east, then south
i can’t take it no more, i go to the store
go to customer service, wait in line, what a bore, then, i get there, “what you want,” they say, and i begin
“real mayo, what i want, not the fake kind
i can’t get this type of mayo off of my mind
unsweetened, preservative free
i’ma get this jar for no one else, just me
i read the nutrition facts, high-calorie food but i need it, man, can you find it dude?”
“hol up, you just wait why i check. okay, next up!”
i look at him and now i’m like
are you for real
i wait here
and i thought we had a deal
now he’s finished
he turn to me
then he shows me
zero in stock
and he says, “sorry.”

- elijah kuchler lyrics

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