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j.r.r. tolkien vs shigeru miyamoto - edx rap battles lyrics

[verse 1: j.r.r tolkien]
now hold on a second
i’ve written tons of epic battles, but this one i’ll conquer with ease
sevig thû úan, so go kiss an orc, you sleaze!
an author knows how to handle words, you won’t be able to stop these
i’ll be telling you off harder than i told off the n*z*s
this isn’t a game shigeru, i’ll deliver my words at any cost
even my friend lewis wants you to enter a wardrobe and get lost
you’ve got no talent at all, so look at me vis*a*vis
i created modern fantasy, you made society accept obesity
[verse 2: shigeru miyamoto]
that’s some big words from the man who wrote a story ’bout a ring
if it weren’t for peter jackson, you wouldn’t even be famous enough to rap me
my name is known by millions of gamers, while yours is too long to remember
these lines will burn your stomach open, might as well call it september
i’m gathering lyrical coins like a literal mc mario
stomping your ass so hard you’ll be stuck with a real middle*earth scenario
you’re the lousiest writer since walt whitman’s sorry ass
if this battle was an exam let me say that you shall not pass!

[verse 3: j.r.r tolkien]
that was pathetic! let me take it from here, you can’t do anything!
this is more than a walk into mordor, it’s the return of the king!
you’re a yellow*faced freak worth nothing but a maggot
if you won’t listen to me, maybe you’ll listen to bilbo baggins!

[verse 4: bilbo baggins:
time for an unexpected b*tch slap! this hobbit’ll drop it hot
gonna cave your face in and spit rhymes fiery as smaug
i deliver my words with greater speed than the misty winds of north
i’m straight up ballin’ and i ain’t even a dwarf!
i’ve got courage and strength, i have my shiny blade sting
as well as flow like the lava where they forged the one ring
i’m going to give you a last warning before you take this any further
mark my words miyamoto, you can never beat this burglar!
[verse 5: shigeru miyamoto]
let me get this straight; you’re too afraid to lose this fight
so you threw a hobbit in my face? yeah, talk about real fright!
i think you forgot what i do for a living, but you already threw the arkenstone
consider this game over tolkien, cause i have a warrior of my own!

[verse 6: link]
heyaaaaah! this hylian’s about to beat the cr*p
out of this old and boring author that dared to f*cking spit a rap!
call me mc ganon because i’ve got the power of destruction
i’ll link this b*tch to the past and diminish you to nothing
your short hairy*toed creatures don’t scare me fool
i’ll break bilbo’s b*tching skull and i’ll break his pots too
he’s nothing but a hobbit and as far as i’m concerned
i’ve beaten this battle, and i hyrule the world

- edx rap battles lyrics

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