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i'll never be jealous again - eddie foy, jr. & reta shaw lyrics

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[mabel, spoken]
hinesy, hinesy.

[hines, spoken]
i’ve learned my lesson, mabel. i’ll never be jealous again.

[mabel, spoken]
you stick to that now.

[hines, spoken]
absolutely.

[mabel]
now that’s easier said than done

[hines]
i can do it

[mabel]
i knew it
but lets take an example, just for fun
picture this
you’re sitting here waiting for her to come back from a date

[hines]
there i am
i’m sitting and waiting for her to come back from a date
[mabel]
here she comes
her blouse is unb*ttoned, her stockings are not very straight

[hines]
here she comes
her blouse is unb*ttoned, her stockings are not very straight

[mabel]
later on
she gets a bouquet with a card in it saying
“to baby, you were great”

(spoken)
well, hinesy, what would you do then?

[hines]
i would trust her
i would trust her
by george, i swear i would trust her
no, i’ll never be jealous again

[mabel]
nice work, hinesy.

[hines]
oh, i know i can do it, mabel.
[mabel, spoken]
now let’s take another example.

(sung)
picture this
you’ve nothing to do so you drop in to chat for awhile

[hines]
there i am
with nothing to do so i drop in to chat for awhile

[mabel]
something’s up
the window is open and gladys is forcing a smile

[hines]
something’s up
the window is open and gladys is forcing a smile

[mabel]
there you see
a shirt and a tie and pair of pants in a nice neat little pile
(spoken)
well, hinesy?

[hines]
i would trust her
i would trust her
by george, i swear i would trust her
no, i’ll never be jealous
i’ll never never never never
never never never never
never be jealous again
[mabel, spoken]
that’s the stuff, hinesy. you’re practically cured!

[hines]
there will be no more nightmares to sleep through
no more keyholes to peep through

[mabel]
no more bushes to creep through

[hines]
that’s my plan

[mabel]
well, now that you’re a new man
picture this
you go to your sweetie’s apartment, you borrow the keys

[hines]
there i am
i go to my sweetie’s apartment, i borrow the keys

[mabel]
there she is
she’s giving a sailor a very affectionate squeeze

[hines]
there she is
she’s giving a sailor a very affectionate squeeze

[mabel]
then, to boot
she tells you she was in the arms of a cousin
who’s back from overseas

[hines, spoken]
a cousin back from overseas? do you expect me to bel—

[mabel, spoken]
hinesy…

[hines]
i would trust her
i would trust her
by george, i swear i would trust her
no, i’ll never be jealous
i’ll never never never never
never never never never
never never never never
never never never
never be jealous again

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