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nearly dead friends - [eagle noise] lyrics

i was in the car when you cracked your head
worried i’d have to my list of dead
friends
i’d like to keep it empty
we had caught you laughing through bloodied sheets
you were straining just to talk gritting through your teeth
and you swore you’d be fine
but right then you had a moment of lucidity
and realized your sudden fragility
and you began to weep
said your father can’t separate his working life
you’ve been overworked and underprivileged and you’d rather die
than keep up this charade
we all fell to stunned silence behind the wheel
and while i wasn’t certain that your head would heal
your heart, that’s a different case
when i saw a smile strike in the waiting room
when i hear another joke you saw your whole life bloom
i knew, this wouldn’t be easy for you
but once they put the staples straight through your skull
it seemed like your reality had returned to dull
and i would not forgive myself

back at my home with a broken chair
following several hours of a loaded stare
i heard that had felt lost too
caught up and abandoned by your brotherhood
you were led to believe you’d be understood
and yet no one seemed to listen
you were worried bout the kid, bout the lies he spread
you were worried what it meant to all of your dead
friends
you admitted that you wished you were one of them
set out to viking burial, so you commenced
to try to take out your own life
and when you walked those seven miles back to my home
i cannot help but wonder when you became alone
and worse, when you finally realized it

i received a call when i woke up
it was news i didn’t wanna hear so i choked up
and i said i’d relay the news
it had been going since the summer that you got hooked
when they caught you fudging hours in the record books
and you came up with some excuse
it was the fourth time that semester that your life was spared
after the first or maybe second you said you’d never care
that this could be your sweet release
you called your sister crying as you licked your lips
the doctor said your spit was sour with -rs-nic
and i blamed it all on me
when we finally got you out you slept on the floor
made you listen to the records that we both adored
to try and catch your ear
but you were getting sick the stalest thoughts
that were clogging up your brainwaves in ugly clots
i kept you close, truly out of fear
that you wouldn’t stay right here

i was busy losing my head
while i was driving into tomorrow
by myself
color by the numbers
i’ve been such a b-mmer
i’ve been busy sticking to myself
it ain’t so easy to recover
from your friends and lovers
when they are happy when i’m by myself
i see a common denomination
it’s not complicated
i think i’m better by myself
no it’s a simple equation
it’s not complicated
they’re all better off when i’m by myself
so i guess that i am the issue in the end
s i guess that i’m the problem, i guess it’s all my fault
why i’ve got so many nearly dead friends

- eagle noise lyrics

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