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patricia the stripper - dustin the turkey lyrics

[intro: chris de burgh & dustin]
now, dustin, i want you to behave
this song is truly a classic
what? i thought we were doing one of yours
dustin…
only joking, christy. love all your stuff
especially the one about bringing your shovel to work
class
oh, why me?

[verse 1: chris de burgh & dustin]
i’m going, out to dinner
with a gorgeous singer (mary coughlan?)
to a little place i found down by the quay

her name is patricia
she calls herself delicia
and the reason isn’t very hard to see

she said, god made her a sinner just to keep those fat men thinner
as they tumble down in heaps before her feet

they hang around in groups, like battle weary troops
one can often see them queue right down the street

you see, patricia, or delicia
not only is a singer
she also removes all her clothing
for patricia
is the best stripper in town

[chorus 1: chris de burgh, dustin & chris de burgh and dustin]
and with a swing of her hips
she started to strip
to tremendous applause
she took off her drawers

and with a l!ck of her lips
she undid all her clips
and threw it all in the air
and everybody stared

and as the last piece of clothing
fell to the floor
the police were banging on the door
on a sat*rday night in 1924

take it away boys

good man, christy, did you ever dream it would come to this?
what?
this is so much better than the stuff you do with aslan
come here though, could you do us a favour and ask the daughter to stop calling me?
don’t get me wrong, rosanna’s a top notch woman and all that
it’s just that if twink found out about the two of us she’d probably want to batter her
oh, dustin, dustin, you really are such a turkey
takes one to know one, boss huah ha ha
now, let’s get on with this song before bono turns up and ruins it on us
[verse 2: chris de burgh, dustin & chris de burgh and dustin]
well, poor patricia was arrested
and everyone detested
the terrible manner in which she was exposed

later on in court, well everyone thought
a summer’s run in jail would be proposed

but the judge said, “patricia, or may i say delicia
the facts of this case lie before me”
“i’ll see ya later, love! case dismissed!”
this girl was in her working clothes

[chorus 2: chris de burgh, dustin & chris de burgh and dustin]
and with a swing of her hips
she started to strip
to tremendous applause
she took off her drawers

and with a l!ck of her lips
she undid all her clips
threw it all in the air
and everybody stared

and as the last piece of clothing
fell to the floor
the police were yelling out for more
on a sat*rday night in 1924
on a sat*rday night in 1924 (your birthday, chris)
on a sat*rday night in 1924 (come on, dustin, do it)
on a sat*rday night in 1924 (when’s it end gonna end? is it a golf course? why are you saying fore?)
[outro: chris de burgh & dustin]
here if she’s the miss world, will i be mr world when i marry her?
right, i’ve had enough, i’m off
right then, bog off back to your mansion! and take your eyebrow with ya! see if i care! i just thought it would be funny to record with someone smaller than me
here, has anyone got joe dolan’s number? i think we might need to get him back in

- dustin the turkey lyrics

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