jojoba's christmas - dubleaadank lyrics
[intro: j-had & captain zucc]
h-llo sir, have you heard about our lord and savior simmondsia chinensis?
boy what the fu-
excuse me sir, we need your shampoo
[verse 1: j-had]
being’ a jj witness ain’t easy
simmondsia chinensis is my deity
shampoo is my cause
screw santa claus
i gotta bank for shampoo withdrawals
hold the applause
‘cause that’s not like me
don’t like chinensis? then you can fight me
aphrodite almighty?
pray to simmondsia chinensis or i’ll smite thee
don’t take it lightly
aw crikey, jojoba baptized me
latencies, a faint thing to see
‘specially when jojoba grows on a tree
now, become a shampoo worshipper with me
[verse 2: andawg]
the shampoo flow
has been kinda slow
not as slow as lil’ gnarly though
bringing the final blow
let the jojoba grow
make the dough
living in monaco, oh
you haven’t heard the last of me yet
got my lhasa apso, capital of tibet
royal nigerian prince
but he could not convince, and so i dismissed
i’ve gotta broken ankle and i need a podiatrist
spare some shampoo
help a brother get through
some tough times
in turn i’m dropping rhymes
i’m making half time
being a jojoba witness ain’t a crime
[verse 3: captain zucc]
yo, i’m sick of this, so get off my property
orange flip floppety, it’s an atrocity
i’m gonna throw you off my lawn at high velocity
i know, i don’t have much generosity
i need some shampoo for my hair porosity
don’t worry, it’s a trait of h-m-zygosity
it’s christmas time
and i’m dropping mad rhymes
all ya’ll trying to be sublime
but to me it’s just a punchline
the sun’s gonna come up, shampoo or not
now get away from my house before i need a mugshot
pull out the sniper, boom headshot
or i could go old-fashioned put you in a headlock
[outro: j-had, captain zucc, & andawg]
oof, alright man i’m outta here
yo man, i got the shampoo!
hey, what are you doing?! knock it off!
you win this round, jojoba!
consider this a coda!
i’ll get my shampoo back, whatever it takes
not gonna give it to a bunch of fakes
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