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two faces - drowse lyrics

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cold side of the pillow
marking on my cheek:
loyal in my cold life
so sadness doesn’t seep out
i go to drink
to warm my soul or whatever’s inside: frightened animal

when i’m cold i’m closed:
someone broke my nose at night
blood ran through the valleys of my face
looking through the mirror
i couldn’t feel a thing:
outside
without meaning

the pillow’s warming now
most flip it around
i want to feel the heat
p-ss right through my cheek;
flow to ocean dark and swirling
to thaw a self emerging

face warm and yearning
sun and meaning filling everything
and me
with love for everyone:
when i hurt others
i drink spilling meaning so i can sleep

“two faces have been shown
in your reductive songs
you want simplicity
bipolar binary
inside more selves are swimming
surfacing, it’s never ending.”

i sat watching the leaves
blow in the autumn breeze
thinking of that baby we almost had

a self created me
i drink for times when life’s beneath is shown
burbling up, bursting the self i’ve known

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