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mind of an addict - dr4g0n lyrics

[verse 1]
living a lie, but i still got war now
get another bike, do it with no breaks now
fighting for their back, don’t care what’s in front, now i
got friends who were murdered, held off a gun plow

conflicted in pieces, but i’m addicted you see
convincing everybody that i’m doing fine, just to breath
but i’m stuck in my room, thinking i would fail again
bury me in the tomb, where i could repent

but this s*x and substance, it’s really shrinking my mind
do one dose and do another, b*tch i’m doing fine

you think it’s dope, ten dozen doses of dopamine destroying me
how do i feel so high, not like in heaven though
cause i’m putting through h*ll
no pearl within the sh*ll
like a candle with fire, how my heart melts

don’t want to get anybody involved
got me myself and i
escaping loophole, revolving
society’s constant rise

[verse 2]
but now that i built up this strength from the love and confidence
confident that i wouldn’t ever do it again
it’s a bright day, but then you realize everything is too good
overthinking, overdrinking, closer to sober, i’m sinking again
it was a good day, with no hatred or jealousy
time passes, so i’d make the most out of all this happiness

next day, woke up, said nothing could save me but willpower
how do you empower a coward, do you scream louder?
i’m reminded that i’m loved and constantly fighting off it
i got to the place, where i could see the truth

but once you see that thing that tore you apart
you knew the truth and it ruptured your heart
whether it’s her with another guy, or
a family died the hatred within all of these lies
i’m saying goodbye

a thousand years of merriment could be broken by one event.,
i’m shaking and distressed
i’m chasing the respect
the cold wave, and bold glaze
leading you back to your old ways
tears dripping down my throat, drowning my hope
time passes, so i know i’m gonna get through this
pain is temporary, but a scar you cannot remove it
no one gonna f*cking saves me, or save you
cause we the only people who could save ourselves

[verse 3]
can’t even pick up the phone
can’t even go back to home
so, went to my friend’s house and
put a glock to my head
walking steps 10,000
and i stare at the meds
and i start thinking about leaving this world
earth including me, it is all curled
piecing every piece of your heart
write it down and maybe get a spark

it gets more intense, but a gnawing sense of me thought again
i’m forming dense, but i called my friends and family, slaughtering
i was shaking. told them i loved them. but one told me to not do it
from the fake smile coming within my voice
even you got a choice
reminded me that i have much to live for, and even if no one shows it
reminded me that their hearts will be redder than broken noses

many men wishing death upon me
but only i can allow myself to stop me
but death gotta easy, cause life is hard
my value is fifty, but i don’t make any sense
luckily i stopped, but i took 10 pills to my mouth
i thought to myself that this was the last time
so i did it again
but then that’s what i keep telling myself
as i fell and i dazed to the floor
i heard my friend screaming, banging the door
[verse 4]
as i woke up, i saw the doctor locking her hands on my collarbone
she told me
even in your most vulnerable moments
you’re stronger than the bond of a neutron and proton
and that you can control your life, so if you choose to
you can overcome it. pain is temporary and it’s very scary
when you’re all on your own, so folded and broken
cause you know your family all loves you
and wishes the best
but through music, i hope i can help bridges connect
but your sinner ways lead you back to your old ways
i ain’t got a face to gaze, or a place to say
but the pain i’m facing, it is more, how?
i lost the battle over, but i still got war now

she said
“stop polarizing, personalizing, and antic*p*ting the worst
filtering all the good cause one situation, to adverse.”
i try to do my best and often overwork
like running before walking, i overturn
but she came back
said i am the definition of addiction
methadone and meloxicam

got m and m (eminem) on my mind
reminded i’m stronger than i was
i haven’t won, but i’ll gonna win the war
this is, “the mind of an addict.”

- dr4g0n lyrics

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