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​​change - ​​downssides lyrics

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(verse one)
i wish that i could say
it never mattered to me anyway
i wish that i could say
the feelings very quickly went away
but i was never really one to move on quickly
in my mind they were the one but it got sticky
happier now but it’s bitter
steaming chai in dead of winter
happier now i’m the winner
hope to never hear of your smiles
new denials
grown up child
was the pain that you caused all worthwhile?

(chorus)
change
has broken me a few too many times
losing all my smiles
when is change gonna be worthwhile
change
doesn’t come free; pay the toll every time
an unexpected drive
when is change gonna make it worth my dimes

(verse two)
i wish that i could say
you never mattered to me anyway
i wish that i could say
the hypotheticals inside my brain
didn’t hurt more than words intoxication unfurled
messing up what mattered to me more than the world
happier now but it’s bitter
steaming chai in dead of winter
happier now i’m the winner
hope to never hear of your love
any hugs
brand new touch
if you answer honestly was i ever enough?
(chorus)
change
has broken me a few too many times
losing all my smiles
when is change gonna be worthwhile
change
doesn’t come free; pay the toll every time
an unexpected drive
when is change gonna make it worth my dimes

(verse three)
i wish that i could say
i never doubt the love you voice for me
i wish that i could say that
past experiences didn’t break me
but i have never been one to just give up
maybe together we can find that healing touch
happier now in the bitter
steaming chai in dead of winter
happier now i’m the winner
hope to never hear that you left
me for dead
but instead
i hope that forever can for once become my friend

(chorus)
change
has broken me a few too many times
losing all my smiles
when is change gonna be worthwhile
change
doesn’t come free; pay the toll every time
an unexpected drive
when is change gonna make it worth my dimes
(bridge)
you are enough, deserving of love
you are enough, i give you my love

you are ever gold
you shine brighter than the sun
you feel like you are mold but
i look at you and see someone

litter my altars with love from my friends
old memories dreams things that haven’t happened

close your eyes
pick a sky
we might die

and in my dreams
i use the biggest words i know
and in my dreams
reinvention i undergo

love feels strange, it’s deranged

(post*chorus)
so i’ll stop holding on
to people i thought
i’d spend the rest of my life with
crisis to crisis
i know who i am
and i’ve changed

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