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circulation - downhaul lyrics

everything we worked for and everyone we loved
built and built until it felt enough
castle walls of human bluff
stretcher course, ceramic trust
it all fades the same, as if it never was
but it’s all gone when i shut my eyes
my falling chest ceases to rise
so we wait around for the first of us to get sick
only to sit, wringing our hands
maul our nails and peel split ends
another waiting room, another chance for us to come clean
another chance to say what we mean

but we don’t
i wish i could respond the way you clearly need me to
but i don’t

well i’ve been a poor friend
a dozen friendships i let fade, ingrained passivity
and it’s not on their end
i know it sits in both my hands, i’ve done this forever
but i somehow think that whatever i’ve got going on is insurmountable
that one set of shoulders is somehow better than two, better than me and you
it makes no sense, but here we are

you’re sanitized now
from all the ways we could have run
and i begin to see how
pleading from slowing circulation
when at its core, it’s like trying to reason
when this is sure as the changing of seasons
it’s coming whether i’m ready or not
another canary in a mineshaft just waiting to rot
you look around, all around, for someone to trust
and all the phones ring at once

- downhaul lyrics

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