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balcony - downhaul lyrics

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“do you ever think that maybe there’s a reason that
your friends have stopped inviting you to things?”
as if i hadn’t traced the commonality
as if i really thought it was anyone else’s fault
so i’m counting creases in the sidewalk back to clay street
and i’m dodging questions about what we’re doing next
cause i’m fine and you’re fine
but it’s hardly closure

and that’ll be something that i hold onto
after the shelf life of what we went through
you might not have meant it the way it p-ssed your teeth
but i can only speak to the way it stuck with me
the way it sticks with me

and i want to be the person that my parents
act like i am when they catch up with friends
about setting sons and what we’ve done
the ways we measure up to the things they want for us
the way my sister looks at my new brother
how i can’t fake that for all the years i’ve tried
so i’m packing boxes, my yearly practice
and i’m moving past this

and it’s watching other people
when they truly need each other
a crushing commentary
hardly a framing issue
so i dread this rite of p-ssage
cause each time it’s temperamental
unpack what i can manage
cause you’re all i can remember
you’re all i can remember

- downhaul lyrics

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