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adolescence - douglas c begay lyrics

verse 1:

when i was nearly thirteen i was drinking with my cousins
and then my uncle intervened and told us liquor gets you buzzing
he was always on the move, he had some warrants couldn’t stay long
he was reaching in his pockets left a bottle, then he took off
before he left the block he told us “drink that sh-t with caution
don’t tell your moms i been around, to them im long forgotten
before you take a sip of that, just listen up my offspring
that sh-t got potential that could break the fam, i promise”
and then he made his way up down the street, we never saw him
we was ignorant to game and to the gems that he was droppin’
this adolescent interest that was mixed with trash incentive
we was reckless with consumption had our vision looking tunnel
suppose i had presentiment was feeling so electric ’til that atmosphere was spectral
and as the moments p-ssed, i felt the mood increasing tenfold
i swear my mama’s nearing no, i tell her that i been a man and she gon’ say she see a child
and that sh-t been my privilege, my cousin can’t relate because his mama sits in prison
and since our blood connect that’s mama too don’t get it twisted
protect ya neck was wu-tang, but i protect my kinship, best believe i been insane, i swear to god i crack davinci
the difference is i played with sticks, your mama bought you everything
mama bought you everything don’t think that i be bitter
im just saying that i just hate the sh-t
from the womb and to the tomb, this intellect it’s been the proof
that y’all can’t write for sh-t, that you be whack and that’s the truth
i speak in acrimony, and i don’t ever stress when all em actions matching phony
i swear my girl she bad, and every time i talk i keep her wet as abalone
imma a beast and imma dog, b-tch im gaining traction keep my feet above of the gound
they tell me come and chill, but i would rather drown, i rather play with words and only structure them around

verse 2:

is it h-ll or is it heaven i got a soul that doesn’t know
i swear i failed to mention inhibition might impose
i couldn’t find my place i wish you’d tell me where to go
could you tell me that you’re doing fine, this head, it might explode
this head, it might explode, i been so confused i wish the truth i would have knew
i was eager to believe that you’re allergic to the cues
sh-t was so d-mn perfect, from the start i would allude
that maybe i’d replace him, we can go and start anew
i wish thats how the sh-t work
failing as a friend first, i knew that there’s a boundary but the thought was in my head first
tripping on these b-tches knowing i should put my bread first
i rarely don’t commit but since i did, i feel i been cursed
b-tch i feel my head hurt, maybe im too sensitive, im sensing that the universe
built me for the trials, love me for my flaws, tribulation set me back and kept me in denial
i got a sack of weed and we gon’ chill and break it down
all this music’s therapeutic when you nearly breaking down
when you nearly breaking down thats some sh-t you can’t relate with ’cause you never live in doubt
i bet you had a christmas and your mamas been around, bet you pedal on a bike, i bet your daddy taught you how
when im feeling kinda blue, maybe chill inside the town and leave it looking red
im trying to make some plans but you leaving me on read
and i don’t want the p-ssy i be trying to make amends
and maybe that’s a lie because my hand is on your legs
give a f-ck about a condom imma fertilize ’em eggs
but she telling me to wait, you lucky that i love you, wouldn’t have another way
have another way, i got a problem making friends and never make them last
all that love will come in intervals and rarely stay intact
man i sound like im a quitter, every girl i been with they gon’ vouch that i don’t listen
pout about decisions that i made when i was bitter
made when i was either
isolated, all alone or battling my drinking (yeah)

- douglas c begay lyrics

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