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waltzing matilda halal style - dougald hendrick lyrics

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[verse 1]
there once was a housewife went to the supermarket
parked by the shade of an old gumtree
humming along as she waltzed in with her shopping bag
buying enough for her family of three

[chorus 1]
dear old matilda, waltzing matilda
scouring the aisles for her family of three
item by item she slowly came to realise
only a handful were halal free

[verse 2]
turning the lablels, looking for that squiggly bit
on catfood and tampons and hard to see
even some water bottles had it hiddne on the back
poor old matilda said well b*gg*r me!

[chorus 1]

[verse 3]
dear old matilda went up to the manager
asking politely just what it all means
where are the products for those who don’t believe in this
“madam, be quiet! you are making a scene!”
[chorus 1]

[verse 4]
the manager showed her the documented policy
we must be inclusive to muslims you see
matilda replied saying “do i look like a muslim mate?
“do you know how offensive it is to me?”

[chorus 1]

[verse 5]
poor old matilda, as true and blue as you can get
it now called a bogan and racist it seems
for not buying products that pay a flamin muslim tax
“you reckon we should wear it? in your friggin dreams”

[chorus 2]
dear old matilda, waltzing matilda
scouring the aisles for her family of three
loudly and proudly and telling everyone of us
don’t buy a thing til it’s halal free
don’t buy a thing til it’s halal free
don’t buy a thing til it’s halal free

- dougald hendrick lyrics

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