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world's best kisser [live] - doug anthony allstars lyrics

[paul spoken: this’s what we’re talking about! this is what we’re talking about! tsk, tsk, tsk, for shame! we’d now like to do a lovely song. i don’t know how many people out there tonight know this. but, uh, i was born and raised in tangawarra, i learnt a fantastic sk!ll there. about, uh, 1974 i won a contest in tangawarra and i became the world’s greatest kisser… and it’s a sk!ll i’d like to share with some of the younger members of the audience, here tonight]

i’m wet and i’m moist
so come on let’s rejoice
in the birds, the bees, the fillies and the colts
and the fact that we are all young adults

[paul spoken: hi baby]

and lie back on your couch
after this there’ll be no doubt
i don’t care if you’re a miss or a mrs
you done been squelched by the world’s best kisses

ho-ho, sit up straight and pout
i’ll suck your face until i pull your molars out
a tongue so grand you’ll call me more than friend
one kiss from this, you’ll never brush your teeth again

[paul spoken: you know what i’m talking about, mate]

well, go back to your husband now
tell him you done broke your vow
stand proud and say “hey mister
i’ve just been kissed by the world’s best kisser”

ho-ho, sit up straight and pout
i’ll suck your face until i pull your wisdoms out
a tongue so long it really grows and grows
put it in your mouth and it’ll clean out your nose

i’ve only kissed one girl before
my grandma on the kitchen floor
she dribbled and grinned and said “hey kid
you taught me things your grandpa never did”
she added there’d be h-ll to pay
if ma found out we’d gone astray
so hurry, paul, go and get some sleep
you’ve finally got a sk!ll to teach the sheep

hey-hey, calm down and pucker up
these lips are strong enough to stop a truck
a tongue so long, it really packs a punch
one kiss from this and i’ll know what you had for lunch
one kiss from this and i’ll know what you had for lunch

[paul spoken: yesterday. ugh!]

[tim spoken: okay now happy, young christians! what do you get when you cross donny osmond with marie osmond? …spastics!
uh, hey, oop. don’t blame me. it’s god’s joke]

- doug anthony allstars lyrics

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