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hectic - double lyrical lyrics

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(jake mackson)
tryna find some help in this place on earth
i hide right behind my reflection in the mirror
im afraid that it’ll will burst as i get older
lessons never learned
life was hectic as a kid, alone and bitter
first day in a month i’m getting sober
now love is on my shoulder though
the devil makes a quitter
but blessings can be earned
i tryna catch em, while i’m searching for the wisdom
and i’m waiting for a message from paps
till he up in heaven i guess
he said it was a matter of texting but it was never that easy right?
before you see the light i wanna really know what happened between us
and what it’s been for, it’s been a while
since you told me i’ll be on a flight whenever you need me alright?
you told me i see you soon now that feels like a dream inside
and honestly, i’ll be surprised if you were even real with me
paid the price of leaving and you shared the f-cking bill with me
but all my soldiers in the field with me
now you’re the reason of my trust issues
the lost dreams plus the rotten blossoms
don’t make another promise, i be too f-cking cautious
i wash my hands just to wash the blood of it
i wash my hands just to wash the blood of it
and i won’t tell you you’re the only one who caused this
but at least you got me used to the losses, so i

(insanity)
close my eyes i’m afraid, lies like a blade
cut through my spine, no escaping it
live my life in a cage, fight for god sake
put my life on the line, no one is saving me
and i’m kinda overwhelmed, no one when i fell
but when you make progress, well you know it as well
they don’t understand that i’ve been through hell
and maybe that defines all the rage in me
the despair, mind boggling, wait and see
when you’ve hit rock bottom you’ll relate with me
lately, i’ve been drinking myself to sleep
i need help, but i don’t want the help i need
changed a lot and now i see myself in me
self-destructive, self-made, no self-esteem
am reluctant, ”have faith” they’re telling me
guess i lost it, a waste of energy
never thought it would be so scary to make a sacrifice
but now i’m working these 9 to 5’s that i can’t survive
my boss is a motherf-cker, wish him dead at times
and that defines the bad habits i have at times
i can’t stress it enough, i’m stressing enough
sometimes i go to sleep and wish i never get up
you know that feeling like ”i’ll never give up”
so then you struggle and struggle, but having no luck, d-mn

(jroon)
f-ck my life, pour another gl-ss
all this stress makes me f-cking mad
i would do anything to make my mother laugh
but i do nothing like i rubberneck
from the gutter to a house, now to the gutter back
wondering who’s gonna suffer last
if i see an outway you see me running back
but i don’t so now i’m stuck with that
so now i write a track that might affect the fight for rap
no lie, no cr-p, no cry for help, i try to step up my rhyme vocab
they ask me why i like to rap
but it’s my life and that’s my final bet
to reply to that, to reply to that
do you get it? i’m in it, i’m only driven by critic
so you can bring it on, give it, i’ll keep on spitting these lyrics
better go listen the rhythm is perfectly fitting the limit
i think i’m living the gimmick, but with a different intention
there is a villain, it’s hidden inside my brain with a mission
and now i think it is winning, cuz i’m beginning to feel it
i feel the vision and wisdom, i feel it itching within me
i feel the trigger is triggered, bang
i think this system is k!lling, d-mn
they say ”ignore” it is irrelevant
and there is coming change, but i’m not getting when
that is the poison of an injured man

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